Brother framed me of SA 8 years ago, now truth comes out, how to proceed?

rather framed me of sight years ago now truth comes out how to proceed hello Reddit using a throwaway account I wanted to know what to do about the situation I'm in and how to get out of it a little bit about me I was the younger of the two children I'll tell you what happened as close to an order as I can so you can get all the facts Henry my brother was always the favorite Child in the family as a child he never did anything wrong when he got bad grades in school my parents

would cheer him up and help him improve them while they would always say I'm so disappointed with this result to me he even though I had done well or he got a new car and a big party for his high school graduation while I got the equal of five hundred dollars and a pat on the back he wasn't a bad brother but we did our own things most of the time I didn't complain too much but I also felt like I needed to move out and do things on my own I went to college in

a different place for the next few years and got my MBA in five years I was able to get a job in the place where I grew up during this time I only saw my family on their birthdays and when I went to see them for the holidays my brother has never been the smartest person in the group he barely made it through high school he quit college and my parents helped him open a small hardware store so he could get back on his feet I was glad for him but I had to go on

with my own life I also had a girlfriend named Jenny who was 22 and from the same city as me I met her in college we moved in together when we got back home she also got a job quickly and we started to focus on our lives and each other during the holidays of 2006 I brought her to meet my family they were surprisingly friendly and open to her and I felt more loved by them than I had in the previous 22 years during the whole party I saw my brother looking at her but I

didn't think much of it since then he's been coming over to my place too often we used to see each other once every three months but now we see each other almost every day at that point I had to set limits and tell him that he's welcome to come over sometimes but I didn't want him to come over every day especially since he came over in the evening when Jenny and I were both trying to relax after a busy day at work my parents and I got into a big fight over that he finally said

he was sorry and that he wouldn't bother me again then he would only come once a month on a weekend which was fine with me he would try to talk to Jenna but it never went beyond Small Talk which was also fine with me things went on like this for a while and then in 2009 I asked her to marry me and we told our families my parents were happy for me but my brother just shook my hand and left the small party I had set up for the occasion I didn't see him again for

about two weeks we got married in 2010 during that time I noticed that my brother had a plus one and he told us that he was dating her for this story I'll call her Kate I thought he might finally be able to get over his feelings for Jenny and focus on his own life they moved quickly too and got married almost nine months later in 2011. our marriage was going well and we had two daughters Alice in 2011 and Sarah in 2013 but my brother's marriage didn't work out the way they had planned and they

split up in 2012 a few weeks after the divorce was vital Kate sent me a message saying that Henry was crazy about Jenny and that was the main reason they broke up I told her I was sorry and wished her well Jenny told me that Kate was always a little cold and distant with her from the start I chose to talk to my brother in front of the rest of my family and ask him why his obsession with my wife is ruining his life he didn't expect the question so he lied about everything we got

into a big fight and in the end I forgave my brother and told him he was was no longer welcome in my house Jenny and my parents both talked to me and helped me see that he was still family no matter what so I chose to get along with everyone then it seemed like he was really trying to get better so we went on with our lives in 2015 I can still remember that day like it was yesterday it was July 25th and I had a lot of things to do both of our kids went

to see their grandparents with my wife I got a call from my dad after lunch he was very angry and told me to come to their house as soon as I walked in I could feel a lot of stress my wife was crying and my parents tried to make her feel better some of my cousins and aunts and uncles were also there when I asked what happened my parents called me the saw person word I was surprised and puzzled they said that I had saw the girl at a party I went to a few weeks

ago and then told her not to tell anyone or there would be consequences Amanda and I had been friends for a while we went to high school together and she was part of a larger group of friends that I sometimes hung out with according to her I followed her to her car after the party which was at a club and did it there she showed my wife's screenshots of what she said was the call and told her the whole story my dad hit me hard and both of my parents told me they didn't want to

see my face again Jenny was angry and said we're done I tried to tell everyone that I hadn't done that but they didn't listen I was basically kicked out of their house and told that Jenny and the kids wouldn't be coming back and that my dad would bring their stuff to my apartment when my father came I begged and pleaded with him but all he did was pack a few bags and tell me never to talk to them again or he would hand me over to the police by the evening Henry had sent the screenshots

and all the information to our extended family's WhatsApp group I was kicked out of the group by a unanimous vote people from my friend group even called me over the next few days to tell me they were disgusted with me and never wanted to talk to me again during that time I was a mess I couldn't eat I couldn't sleep and I couldn't even work right even though my boss heard the rumors he couldn't do much until he saw that the cop were taking action against me he told me that I should leave the company

on my own to keep my record clean and that he would make sure I didn't even have to serve my notice time I tried to argue the case but he told me that if the police showed up he would be kicked out anyway he also said that because the case was so serious I wouldn't get layoff pay and my record would be ruined I reluctantly agreed to what he wanted and I left the organization a few days later in the middle of August when I was still sad the court sent me two papers one was

a letter of disownment and the other was a divorce petition even though I was pretty drunk I went to my parents house anyway when my brother saw me he beat me up and said it was good that I was kicked out of the family by the time he was done with me I had blood coming out of my face and could barely stand my parents and wife stood back and watched me but they didn't do anything after a while I was able to get up but I was a mess of tears and realized I had

lost everything and everyone I knew I didn't leave my room while the divorce was going on it worked out as well as it could I didn't have to pay child support or alimony because I didn't have a job and my now ex-parents said they would pay for the child by January 2016 I was no longer married but it was hard to put my life back together during this time I also wanted to talk to Amanda but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it would have made things worse for me because

my country has laws that favor women all it would have taken was one phone call for me to get five six years in jail in February 2016 I was in a serious accident that put me in the hospital for five weeks the staff told me that they called my emergency number which was still Jenny at the time but she hung up and no one came after I got better I realized I had spent a lot of my funds and needed to get back on my feet if for no other reason than to have a roof

over my head but I realized that there wasn't anything I could do where I was so I sold all of my furniture paid off the rest of my rent and chose to start over somewhere else I moved to a city two hours away and tried to find a job for a while but couldn't I also used to drink too much and I often thought about killing myself almost every time she had a bad dream she would wake up in a cold sweat this went on for four months and then I ran into an old college

friend named James at that time he was the quiet kid who didn't talk much to anyone it was strange to see him again after so many years because he picked me out of the crowd and called my name we said hello and talked for a while about what was going on in our lives I told him that I had come to the city to look for work he told me he had just quit his job and was going to start his own management consulting firm he then invited me to have a drink with him later

where we talked a lot about our jobs and he offered me a chance to work with him because he needed a couple of smart people at this point I thought I needed to work hard to get these thoughts out of my head so I said yes but I told him I wanted to meet him and his team and talk to them before we moved forward two days later he introduced me to another guy named Derek and said that for now it would just be the three of us I shook Derek's hand and told them I

had something to say before or they went any further I then told them everything that had happened to me during that time and how I had been rejected and divorced because of it crying in between James and Derek told me they felt bad for me but they also said there would be no problem if I didn't have a crime record I told them that the cops never came to my house which made them happy James did say that he was going to ask someone to do a full background check just to be safe and I

got his point and agreed with him during this time I was renting a rundown place to live in order to save money I was patient and waited for two weeks but I also looked for other jobs in case things didn't work out James called me two weeks later and we met up later that day he told me that I don't have any saw on my record and that I was welcome to the team after that I dove into my work and started going to treatment on Derek's advice I also joined a gym and took out

a lot of my anger on the punching bag this helped me go from an average weight of 70 kgs to a fit 98 kgs Derek and I became gym buddies and since he was about Henry's age I thought of him as an older brother by the end of 2018 I had a lot more control over my life my coaching business was doing well and money was coming in I found a nice apartment in a good area and rented it out the bandage also started to come off and I knew I had to take some steps

to move on I went to a courthouse to properly change my last name I took Derek's last name after getting permission from him and his parents they thought I was a nice guy and included me in a lot of their family events like Derek's wedding so this was also a way to thank them I tried dating a few times but because of my mental problems it never worked out in 2019 I started dating Kim who was half Korean and half Italian she used to work at a coffee shop where I bought my coffee and sometimes

sat down to drink it that's where I met her we only saw each other for the order but once when Derek and I were there and he saw that she was always looking at me he told me I should ask her out I went up to her and asked her out for drinks later that day but I was a little nervous we went on a nice date and she said she hoped to see us again I knew this date would end the same way as my other dates I'd tell them about my past and they'd

leave I didn't blame any of them though but the second time I took Kim out to lunch I chose to tell her about my past before she went any further I did this so she could make an educated decision it was like she was caught off guard I told her that I would never do that to anyone and that I'm still trying to get over the Fallout I also told her that she needs to know what she's getting into before we go on any more dates a few days later Kim called me and said she

wants to get together we met at the coffee shop where she worked she told me she trusts me and wants to give it a try at this point I was doubtful and even cried a little because I couldn't believe that my life could even start to get back to normal we went on a few dates and had a great time together I felt like I could finally start getting better I took my first trip in a long time with her to Europe and we both had a great time when the sea virus hit in the

year 2020 we stayed in touch by phone and FaceTime when things started to get back to normal in the second half she asked if she could move in with me and I said yes she had been fired from her job at a coffee shop and was looking for work she was a great cook so I suggested she tried to set up a place and go into the food business by the middle of 2021 with the help of her parents money she had set up a cloud kitchen that brought food to the nearby areas our lives

were both going well I still had a lot of emotional problems but I no longer thought about killing myself but I still had dreams sometimes Kim told me in February 2023 that she was pregnant and my feelings were all over the place I went from being thrilled to starting over to crying because I missed what I used to have Kim made me feel better and we both fell asleep holding each other a few days later I asked her to marry me and she was thrilled it seemed like things were finally moving in a way that

would let me have some peace in my life we were going to get married and all the plans for my wedding in mid-june of this year were in full swing I'm sorry this post is so long but I wanted you to know how crazy things have been for me so I had to tell you everything at the end of May I get a call from a number I don't know when I answered I could hear someone crying she said hi this is Amanda I knew that voice right away and cut the call trying not to

get angry Kim was with me and when she saw how sad I looked she came over to help I tried to hold back my tears and anger as I told her who it was when the phone rang again Kim picked it up and put it on speaker the man on the other end said he was Amanda's fiancee and that she wanted to apologize for what she had said before she got on the phone and kept saying she was sorry over and over again while she cried all the time Kim did most of the talking while

I broke down in tears and didn't know what to do so kin said they'll call back she then called Derek who listened patiently as Kim told him what had happened he gave me a hug and suggested that we set up a meeting with a lawyer so that her confession could help if there were any problems in the future I called my lawyer and told him what was going on he said he would set up a meeting in his office and gave me a date and time I called Amanda and told her to come to my

lawyer's office where we'd talk about it we met at his office three days after that Amanda looked like she was almost dead and her boyfriend was the only one with her my lawyer set up a camera in the meeting room to record the whole thing I asked him to be a mediator and I asked Kim to come with me we sat on opposite sides of the room and she began to talk about what had happened back then a lot was said and talked about but here's the main point back in 2015 she was seeing my

brother but no one knew he was the one who came up with the saw plan and she went along with it because she loved him so much and would do anything for him he got a new phone and stole my profile picture from my WhatsApp number back then they used it to make the fake screenshots by talking back and forth with Amanda I went from being sad to being angry if it weren't for Kim I probably would have been charged with attack Kim was angry and upset partly because she was pregnant and she tore Amanda

a new one with her words even though my lawyer tried to keep things calm it was clear that Kim was very angry she wants to tell her fiance that if he keeps marrying this piece of trash he deserves what he gets I didn't want to cry or get angry so I asked them why they were coming out and telling me now Mark her boyfriend came forward and said what was going on he said that a few weeks ago they were both pretty drunk and she told him how she had helped an ex-boyfriend break up a

marriage that stuck with him and after he asked her over and over again and pushed her she finally told him the truth then he told her that if she wants peace in her life she needs to own up to her mistakes after she helped Henry he started to act cold and distant toward her and after six months they broke up at that point she felt awful but was too afraid to tell anyone she spent a lot of time in therapy trying to figure out how to deal with her problems after everything was on the table

my lawyer said let's take a break for 30 minutes and then meet back here Amanda and Mark left and our lawyer and I talked about how if I want he can sue her and my brother for slander there is more than enough proof for me to do what I want I was very angry but I didn't want this to ruined the wedding so I told myself that whatever I wanted to do would have to wait until everything was over I told Amanda that I would talk to her again but for now she shouldn't tell anyone

else I didn't want my ex's family to cause any trouble at my wedding after that meeting Kim gave me a hug and told me that she was right to go with her gut and that she now feels like a weight has been taken off her shoulders I felt the same way as she did James and Derek were both best men at our small wedding and we went on a three-week honeymoon around Europe it was an amazing time for both of us lucky for me I was able to figure out what I had heard and Derek

also told me to put it out of my thoughts it didn't ruin the vacation too much even though I was having nightmares more often than usual and Kim was always there to help me I also talked to my therapist who told me that I will need to talk to my ex-family at some point if for nothing else than to put things to rest after a lot of thought about everything that had happened in July I chose to talk to Amanda and let her know what she needed to do I told her that because of what

she said I I was going to go to court but if she didn't want to lose money she had to do what I said next she needed to talk to Jenny alone and tell her everything she told us in the lawyer's office she couldn't stop crying as she listened to me and told me that Mark had left her I told her that I wish I could feel sad for her but I don't I then told her that karma is hard on everyone it hit her hard and now it's coming from my brother a couple of

days later Jenny sent me a text message even though I was blocked I still texted her birthday wishes birthday wishes for both of our girls and holiday greetings it had been eight years since I had heard from anyone she asked essentially if we could talk I didn't want to talk to her by myself so I told her I would call her in a few hours when the call came in I was at home with Kim I could hear Jenny crying intensely for a while before she told me she was sorry and how bad she feels

right now I have been able to keep my cool all this time I told her it hurt a lot to know that she didn't think much of me because she was so easy to trick by Henry I asked her how my girls were doing and she said they were fine I then asked when she met Amanda and she said it had been two days it took her a long time to realize she was wrong but once she did she moved away from me quickly she told my ex-parents right away and they were just as shocked

as she was everyone wanted to talk to me but she said she wants to talk to me first and say she's sorry I told her that what she did was way too bad she told me that the golden child had been kicked out of the house when I asked about him I laughed a little she told me that she married Henry a year after the divorce was Final because he was the one who helped her through it and all of a sudden it made sense it looks like he never got over her she told me

that she and him also have a daughter after we talked I pretty much told her what would happen and a specific thing I wanted I want her to talk to all of my ex-family members so they know what a pause he is second I only want to co-parent my two daughters and I don't plan to get back together with her if that's not what it takes for me to have a bond with them and third I'll send her a text message with the date and time I want to meet my ex-parents in person after that

I just hugged Kim I knew she was pregnant and her mood would have been all over the place so I kept my feelings in check I think she was crying for both of us and we both fell asleep on the bed when I woke up the next morning my phone was off and when I turned it back onto charge I saw that I had a lot of texts I missed more than 50 calls and got a lot of texts I was also added to the family group chat in which everyone said sorry over the next

few days some of my friends started sending me texts in which they apologized for what had happened and how they had acted too quickly I told the family group that since I was kicked out of the family almost eight years ago I was a stranger in this group and wanted to stay that way I also told them not to add me back to this group and left the group whether I forgive them or not would depend on me in my schedule not theirs some family members tried to shame Me by sending me messages saying they

were unhappy in how I reacted I told them they couldn't judge me because they were so quick to assume what I did and to not contact me again unless I did a few weeks later I called Jenny and asked her to bring my girls to my house for the weekend so I could get to know them better Kim who is as bold and headstrong as she is said that she also wants to meet her stepdaughters we fought a lot most of the time I told her that she needs to take care of herself because she

was pregnant but the Asian in her was pretty strong so I gave in we got together in a park Jenny looked a little messy but she seemed to have tried to look as good as she could at this meeting there I saw Alice and Sarah for the first time in eight years they had changed so much and the only memories I had of them were on my phone because I was pretty cut off from social media and other places Jenny came up to me crying and tried to give me a hug but I blocked her

with both hands I then introduced her to Kim as my wife and she started crying uncontrollably in the park Tim went up to her to comfort her and we sat down nearby I grabbed both of my daughters and yelled my girls didn't know about me until recently and they were pretty confused because they only knew each Nuri as their father seeing me all of a sudden made them feel a lot of things and they cried and talked a lot by the end of the day we told each other what had happened in our lives she

told me that a year later she got married to Henry he took care of her for the first few years after that things settled down but he still couldn't make his gardening business profitable so kavid basically forced him to close up shop his parents were Now using money from their savings to make ends meet and even though they told him to start something new he never did she said that she is getting a divorce from Henry because she can't stand to see him I told her that she can do whatever she wants and that it

doesn't affect me I told her some things about what would happen next basically I wanted Alice and Sarah to join me in Family Therapy meetings in the future so we could all get better they were taken from their real father and it was time to make things right I want to be a part of their lives I also wanted them to spend weekends with me and Kim but I told her that would have to wait because Kim and I are going to have a baby soon and I want to put all of my attention on

that for now the last thing she she told me was that my parents wanted to talk to me I told her she was wrong and that they were not my parents I still had the letter of disilment they sent with the divorce papers but I had nothing to do with them but both she and Kim said it would help me put an end to things with them so I said yes and told her I'd let her know when and where I wanted to meet them I got her a room at a hotel and told her

that I wanted her to stay in this city for the night because it's Sunday and I want to spend more time with my girls we were together again on Sunday but this time I took them to see the sights and show them around the city we all had a great time before they left they both gave me a big hug and I told them I'd see them next week I told her that she doesn't have to drive the girls to the family therapy meetings because I will take care of them my therapist gave me a

good recommendation for that City and we had a good first meeting however she made it clear that sooner or later they will need to know what my ex-brother did and I told her that they will she suggested that I write it out here and get some outside opinions on my situation as well I can say for sure that there push might not have helped me get to where I am now which is why I'm giving you access to this site from here what should I do I'm going to talk to my ex-parents at some point

and even though I call them ex I still care about them I'm not sure if that makes sense how do I deal with Henry I don't think I ever want to see his face again but I'm not sure if I should go after him and ruin him with a defamation suit even though I know he has a daughter with my ex-girlfriend and that anything I do to him could affect her I will try to answer any questions you might have [Music]