Brother framed me of SA 8 years ago, now truth comes out, how to proceed?

Rather framed me out of sight years ago. Now, the truth comes out. How to proceed?

Hello, Reddit. Using a throwaway account, I wanted to know what to do about the situation I'm in and how to get out of it. A little bit about me: I was the younger of the two children.

I'll tell you what happened in as close to an order as I can, so you can get all the facts. Henry, my brother, was always the favorite child in the family. As a child, he never did anything wrong.

When he got bad grades in school, my parents would cheer him up and help him improve them, while they would always say, "I'm so disappointed with this result," to me, even though I had done well. He got a new car and a big party for his high school graduation, while I got the equivalent of five hundred dollars and a pat on the back. He wasn't a bad brother, but we did our own things most of the time.

I didn't complain too much, but I also felt like I needed to move out and do things on my own. I went to college in a different place, and for the next few years, I got my MBA. In five years, I was able to get a job in the place where I grew up.

During this time, I only saw my family on their birthdays and when I went to see them for the holidays. My brother has never been the smartest person in the group; he barely made it through high school, quit college, and my parents helped him open a small hardware store so he could get back on his feet. I was glad for him, but I had to go on with my own life.

I also had a girlfriend named Jenny, who was 22 and from the same city as me. I met her in college, and we moved in together when we got back home. She also got a job quickly, and we started to focus on our lives and each other.

During the holidays of 2006, I brought her to meet my family. They were surprisingly friendly and open to her, and I felt more loved by them than I had in the previous 22 years. During the whole party, I saw my brother looking at her, but I didn't think much of it.

Since then, he's been coming over to my place too often. We used to see each other once every three months, but now we see each other almost every day. At that point, I had to set limits and tell him that he was welcome to come over sometimes, but I didn't want him to come over every day, especially since he came over in the evening when Jenny and I were both trying to relax after a busy day at work.

My parents and I got into a big fight over that. He finally said he was sorry and that he wouldn't bother me again. Then he would only come once a month on a weekend, which was fine with me.

He would try to talk to Jenny, but it never went beyond small talk, which was also fine with me. Things went on like this for a while, and then in 2009, I asked her to marry me, and we told our families. My parents were happy for me, but my brother just shook my hand and left the small party I had set up for the occasion.

I didn't see him again for about two weeks. We got married in 2010. During that time, I noticed that my brother had a plus one, and he told us that he was dating her.

For this story, I will call her Kate. I thought he might finally be able to get over his feelings for Jenny and focus on his own life. They moved quickly too and got married almost nine months later in 2011.

Our marriage was going well, and we had two daughters: Alice in 2011 and Sarah in 2013. But my brother's marriage didn't work out the way they had planned, and they split up in 2012. A few weeks after the divorce, Kate sent me a message saying that Henry was crazy about Jenny and that was the main reason they broke up.

I told her I was sorry and wished her well. Jenny told me that Kate was always a little cold and distant with her from the start. I chose to talk to my brother in front of the rest of my family and asked him why his obsession with my wife was ruining his life.

He didn't expect the question, so he lied about everything. We got into a big fight, and in the end, I forgave my brother and told him he was no longer welcome in my house. Jenny and my parents both talked to me and helped me see that he was still family no matter what, so I chose to get along with everyone.

Then it seemed like he was really trying to get better, so we went on with our lives. In 2015, I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. It was July 25th, and I had a lot of things to do.

Both of our kids went to see their grandparents with my wife. I got a call from my dad after lunch. He was very angry and told me to come to their house.

As soon as I walked in, I could feel a lot of stress. My wife was crying, and my parents tried to make her feel better. Some of my cousins, aunts, and uncles were also there.

When I asked what happened, my parents called me the "saw person" word. I was surprised and puzzled. They said that I had seen the girl at a party I went to a few weeks… "I was thankful for the opportunity.

We discussed our plans, and I felt a renewed sense of purpose. Over the following weeks, I dedicated myself to the new project and started to regain a bit of my confidence. It wasn't easy, but I kept pushing through the challenges.

As time went on, I learned more about management consulting and began to develop new skills. Derek and James were supportive, and slowly but surely, I started to feel like I was on the right path again. It was a long journey, but I was determined to rebuild my life after everything that had happened.

" Had something to say before they went any further, I then told them everything that had happened to me during that time and how I had been rejected and divorced because of it, crying in between. James and Derek told me they felt bad for me, but they also said there would be no problem if I didn't have a crime record. I told them that the cops never came to my house, which made them happy.

James did say that he was going to ask someone to do a full background check just to be safe, and I got his point and agreed with him. During this time, I was renting a rundown place to live in order to save money. I was patient and waited for two weeks, but I also looked for other jobs in case things didn't work out.

James called me two weeks later, and we met up later that day. He told me that I didn't have any saw on my record and that I was welcome to the team. After that, I dove into my work and started going to treatment on Derek's advice.

I also joined a gym and took out a lot of my anger on the punching bag. This helped me go from an average weight of 70 kgs to a fit 98 kgs. Derek and I became gym buddies, and since he was about Henry's age, I thought of him as an older brother.

By the end of 2018, I had a lot more control over my life; my coaching business was doing well, and money was coming in. I found a nice apartment in a good area and rented it out. The bandage also started to come off, and I knew I had to take some steps to move on.

I went to a courthouse to properly change my last name; I took Derek's last name after getting permission from him and his parents. They thought I was a nice guy and included me in a lot of their family events, like Derek's wedding, so this was also a way to thank them. I tried dating a few times, but because of my mental problems, it never worked out.

In 2019, I started dating Kim, who was half Korean and half Italian. She used to work at a coffee shop where I bought my coffee and sometimes sat down to drink it. That's where I met her.

We only saw each other for the order, but once when Derek and I were there, and he saw that she was always looking at me, he told me I should ask her out. I went up to her and asked her out for drinks later that day, but I was a little nervous. We went on a nice date, and she said she hoped to see us again.

I knew this date would end the same way as my other dates; I'd tell them about my past, and they'd leave. I didn't blame any of them, though. But the second time I took Kim out to lunch, I chose to tell her about my past before she went any further.

I did this so she could make an educated decision. It was like she was caught off guard. I told her that I would never do that to anyone and that I'm still trying to get over the fallout.

I also told her that she needs to know what she's getting into before we go on any more dates. A few days later, Kim called me and said she wanted to get together. We met at the coffee shop where she worked; she told me she trusts me and wants to give it a try.

At this point, I was doubtful and even cried a little because I couldn't believe that my life could even start to get back to normal. We went on a few dates and had a great time together. I felt like I could finally start getting better.

I took my first trip in a long time with her to Europe, and we both had a great time. When the COVID virus hit in the year 2020, we stayed in touch by phone and FaceTime. When things started to get back to normal in the second half, she asked if she could move in with me, and I said yes.

She had been fired from her job at a coffee shop and was looking for work. She was a great cook, so I suggested she try to set up a place and go into the food business. By the middle of 2021, with the help of her parents' money, she had set up a cloud kitchen that brought food to the nearby areas.

Our lives were both going well; I still had a lot of emotional problems but I no longer thought about killing myself. I still had dreams sometimes. Kim told me in February 2023 that she was pregnant, and my feelings were all over the place.

I went from being thrilled to starting over to crying because I missed what I used to have. Kim made me feel better, and we both fell asleep holding each other. A few days later, I asked her to marry me, and she was thrilled.

It seemed like things were finally moving in a way that would let me have some peace in my life. We were going to get married, and all the plans for my wedding in mid-June of this year were in full swing. I'm sorry this post is so long, but I wanted you to know how crazy things have been for me, so I had to tell you everything.

At the end of May, I got a call from a number I didn't know. When I answered, I could hear someone crying. She said, "Hi, this is Amanda.

" I knew that voice right away and cut the call, trying not to. "Get angry! " Kim was with me, and when she saw how sad I looked, she came over to help.

I tried to hold back my tears and anger as I told her who it was. When the phone rang again, Kim picked it up and put it on speaker. The man on the other end said he was Amanda's fiancé, and that she wanted to apologize for what she had said before.

She got on the phone and kept saying she was sorry over and over again while she cried. All the time, Kim did most of the talking while I broke down in tears and didn't know what to do. So Kim said they'll call back.

She then called Derek, who listened patiently as Kim told him what had happened. He gave me a hug and suggested that we set up a meeting with a lawyer so that her confession could help if there were any problems in the future. I called my lawyer and told him what was going on.

He said he would set up a meeting in his office and gave me a date and time. I called Amanda and told her to come to my lawyer's office where we'd talk about it. We met at his office three days after that.

Amanda looked like she was almost dead, and her boyfriend was the only one with her. My lawyer set up a camera in the meeting room to record the whole thing. I asked him to be a mediator, and I asked Kim to come with me.

We sat on opposite sides of the room, and she began to talk about what had happened back then. A lot was said and talked about, but here's the main point: back in 2015, she was seeing my brother, but no one knew. He was the one who came up with the "saw" plan, and she went along with it because she loved him so much and would do anything for him.

He got a new phone and stole my profile picture from my WhatsApp number. Back then, they used it to make the fake screenshots by talking back and forth with Amanda. I went from being sad to being angry.

If it weren't for Kim, I probably would have been charged with an attack. Kim was angry and upset, partly because she was pregnant, and she tore Amanda a new one with her words. Even though my lawyer tried to keep things calm, it was clear that Kim was very angry.

She wants to tell her fiancé that if he keeps marrying this piece of trash, he deserves what he gets. I didn't want to cry or get angry, so I asked them why they were coming out and telling me now. Mark, her boyfriend, came forward and said what was going on.

He said that a few weeks ago, they were both pretty drunk, and she told him how she had helped an ex-boyfriend break up a marriage. That stuck with him, and after he asked her over and over again and pushed her, she finally told him the truth. Then he told her that if she wants peace in her life, she needs to own up to her mistakes.

After she helped Henry, he started to act cold and distant toward her, and after six months, they broke up. At that point, she felt awful but was too afraid to tell anyone. She spent a lot of time in therapy trying to figure out how to deal with her problems.

After everything was on the table, my lawyer said, "Let's take a break for 30 minutes, and then meet back here. " Amanda and Mark left, and our lawyer and I talked about how if I wanted, he could sue her and my brother for slander. There is more than enough proof for me to do what I want.

I was very angry, but I didn't want this to ruin the wedding, so I told myself that whatever I wanted to do would have to wait until everything was over. I told Amanda that I would talk to her again, but for now, she shouldn't tell anyone else. I didn't want my ex's family to cause any trouble at my wedding.

After that meeting, Kim gave me a hug and told me that she was right to go with her gut and that she now feels like a weight has been taken off her shoulders. I felt the same way as she did. James and Derek were both best men at our small wedding, and we went on a three-week honeymoon around Europe.

It was an amazing time for both of us. Luckily for me, I was able to figure out what I had heard, and Derek also told me to put it out of my thoughts. It didn't ruin the vacation too much, even though I was having nightmares more often than usual, and Kim was always there to help me.

I also talked to my therapist, who told me that I will need to talk to my ex-family at some point if for nothing else than to put things to rest. After a lot of thought about everything that had happened in July, I chose to talk to Amanda and let her know what she needed to do. I told her that because of what she said, I was going to go to court, but if she didn't want to lose money, she had to do what I said.

Next, she needed to talk to Jenny alone and tell her everything she told us in the lawyer's office. She couldn't stop crying as she listened to me and told me that Mark had left her. I told her that I wish I could feel sad for her, but I don't.

I then told her that karma is hard on everyone. It hit her hard, and now it's coming from my brother. " Days later, Jenny sent me a text message.

Even though I was blocked, I still texted her birthday wishes—birthday wishes for both of our girls—and holiday greetings. It had been eight years since I had heard from anyone. She asked, essentially, if we could talk.

I didn't want to talk to her by myself, so I told her I would call her in a few hours. When the call came in, I was at home with Kim. I could hear Jenny crying intensely for a while before she told me she was sorry and how bad she feels right now.

I have been able to keep my cool all this time; I told her it hurt a lot to know that she didn't think much of me because she was so easily tricked by Henry. I asked her how my girls were doing, and she said they were fine. I then asked when she met Amanda, and she said it had been two days.

It took her a long time to realize she was wrong, but once she did, she moved away from me quickly. She told my ex-parents right away, and they were just as shocked as she was. Everyone wanted to talk to me, but she said she wanted to talk to me first and say she's sorry.

I told her that what she did was way too bad. She told me that the golden child had been kicked out of the house. When I asked about him, I laughed a little.

She told me that she married Henry a year after the divorce was final because he was the one who helped her through it, and all of a sudden, it made sense. It looks like he never got over her. She told me that she and he also have a daughter.

After we talked, I pretty much told her what would happen and a specific thing I wanted: I want her to talk to all of my ex-family members so they know what a pause he is. Second, I only want to co-parent my two daughters, and I don't plan to get back together with her if that's not what it takes for me to have a bond with them. Third, I'll send her a text message with the date and time I want to meet my ex-parents in person.

After that, I just hugged Kim. I knew she was pregnant, and her mood would have been all over the place, so I kept my feelings in check. I think she was crying for both of us, and we both fell asleep on the bed.

When I woke up the next morning, my phone was off, and when I turned it back on to charge, I saw that I had a lot of texts. I missed more than 50 calls and got a lot of texts. I was also added to the family group chat, in which everyone said sorry.

Over the next few days, some of my friends started sending me texts in which they apologized for what had happened and how they had acted too quickly. I told the family group that since I was kicked out of the family almost eight years ago, I was a stranger in this group and wanted to stay that way. I also told them not to add me back to this group and left.

Whether I forgive them or not would depend on me and my schedule, not theirs. Some family members tried to shame me by sending me messages saying they were unhappy with how I reacted. I told them they couldn't judge me because they were so quick to assume what I did and to not contact me again unless I did.

A few weeks later, I called Jenny and asked her to bring my girls to my house for the weekend so I could get to know them better. Kim, who is as bold and headstrong as she is, said that she also wants to meet her stepdaughters. We fought a lot; most of the time, I told her that she needs to take care of herself because she was pregnant, but the Asian in her was pretty strong, so I gave in.

We got together in a park. Jenny looked a little messy, but she seemed to have tried to look as good as she could at this meeting. There, I saw Alice and Sarah for the first time in eight years.

They had changed so much, and the only memories I had of them were on my phone because I was pretty cut off from social media and other places. Jenny came up to me crying and tried to give me a hug, but I blocked her with both hands. I then introduced her to Kim as my wife, and she started crying uncontrollably in the park.

Tim went up to her to comfort her, and we sat down nearby. I grabbed both of my daughters and yelled. My girls didn't know about me until recently, and they were pretty confused because they only knew each Nuri as their father.

Seeing me all of a sudden made them feel a lot of things, and they cried and talked a lot. By the end of the day, we told each other what had happened in our lives. She told me that a year later, she got married to Henry.

He took care of her for the first few years; after that, things settled down, but he still couldn't make his gardening business profitable, so Kavid basically forced him to close up shop. His parents were now using money from their savings to make ends meet, and even though they told him to start something new, he never did. She said that she is getting a divorce from Henry because she can't stand to see him.

I told her that she can do whatever she wants and that it… Doesn't affect me. I told her some things about what would happen next; basically, I wanted Alice and Sarah to join me in family therapy meetings in the future so we could all get better. They were taken from their real father, and it was time to make things right.

I want to be a part of their lives. I also wanted them to spend weekends with me and Kim, but I told her that would have to wait because Kim and I are going to have a baby soon, and I want to put all of my attention on that for now. The last thing she told me was that my parents wanted to talk to me.

I told her she was wrong and that they were not my parents. I still had the letter of disinheritance they sent with the divorce papers, but I have nothing to do with them. Both she and Kim said it would help me put an end to things with them, so I said yes and told her I'd let her know when and where I wanted to meet them.

I got her a room at a hotel and told her that I wanted her to stay in this city for the night because it's Sunday, and I want to spend more time with my girls. We were together again on Sunday, but this time I took them to see the sights and show them around the city. We all had a great time.

Before they left, they both gave me a big hug, and I told them I'd see them next week. I told her that she doesn't have to drive the girls to the family therapy meetings because I will take care of them. My therapist gave me a good recommendation for that city, and we had a good first meeting.

However, she made it clear that sooner or later, they will need to know what my ex-brother did, and I told her that they will. She suggested that I write it out here and get some outside opinions on my situation as well. I can say for sure that their push might not have helped me get to where I am now, which is why I'm giving you access to this site.

From here, what should I do? I'm going to talk to my ex-parents at some point, and even though I call them ex, I still care about them. I'm not sure if that makes sense.

How do I deal with Henry? I don't think I ever want to see his face again, but I'm not sure if I should go after him and ruin him with a defamation suit, even though I know he has a daughter with my ex-girlfriend, and that anything I do to him could affect her. I will try to answer any questions you might have.