Don't marry a man you can control

wives submit yourself unto your own husbands as unto the Lord that is very easy to understand right I don't think so because I don't know how many troubles I got into uh in a church setting when I bring this up and basically and okay let me tell you this so I was in this groups um with some couples and we are discussing about submitting one another because uh they're watching a sermon from the pastor that that topic is submitting to one another which is Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21 the verse right before wife submit yourself

unto your husband so now that whole sermon and the discussion means that it's not just wife submit to husband but husband also submit to wife okay so that becomes the topic and immediately I feel no that's not right so I bring it up um I got roasted by every woman there and their husbands keep silent I'm serious like not a single guy was arguing with me every woman is arguing with me and in their argument I'm I'm not going to say like you you know does it make sense or not because I believe it makes

sense to them but what I'm trying to say is the atmosphere is really bad I was trying to bring it up in a very gentle way I just said well submitting yourself one to another in the fear of God is you know like the end quote uh after Paul discussed about how we treat each other in the body of Christ that we you know love it one another and submit to one another in the view of God and that is in the church setting like you and I um you who are watching this video we

submit to one another in the fear of God but in a family setting under marriage covenant wife submit to the husband and and you know Paul makes it very clear just in case just INE case some of them is going to argue no husband should submit to the wife too because submitting yourself one to another right Paul clarified right after wife submit yourself to your husband he said for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore as the

church is subject unto Christ so let the the wives be to their own husband in everything isn't that clear let me ask you one question does Christ submit to the church he doesn't the church submit to Christ so husband don't submit to wife but you know when I say when Paul says submit to one another um so one of the woman said that well if you submit to one another in the Church setting why wouldn't you submit to one another in a family setting and I said well because you are not under marriage covenant with

every BR every other brother in the church they are not responsible for you they don't pay your bill they don't sacrifice for you they don't die for you when necessary okay so in the church setting you don't have that much respons responsibility you don't devote to each other for life you know of course you submit one another as individuals and it's for the fear of God because even if you feel like that brother or that sister doesn't worth it you still submit to him and love him not because he deserve it but because you fear

God because God told you so and it's the same in the marriage setting it's not because your husband deserve it he's probably a fool I believe that I believe a lot of women are more spiritual and you my sister who are watching this you are a daughter of God and a lot of time you feel like your husband is like this knucklehead and he doesn't hear God as clearly as you here so why would you you know submit to him and let him make all the decisions um that's not our business our business is to

do what God says and I think it's in First Peter okay I'll find the verse and put it down in the description but what Peter was saying is that you will Wing your husband to the Lord um by your Holiness and by your Purity and conduct even if he doesn't deserves it and it's the same for brothers you know your wife might not be uh she might not be obedient to the Lord she might not you know fulfill his wife's Duty she might not be you know really respect you or submit to you sometimes she

get frustrated and maybe go off at you um nobody's perfect I hope you understand that in know generally speaking women are more sensitive um and if she did something wrong you know don't accuse her but you know correct her in love so you don't do that for your spouse because they deserve it you do it because you fear God and it's the same in the church setting and the same in the family setting it's all because our fear for God so that's back to uh my argument not really an argument because I was literally besieged

by how many women three four other women um especially one of them is super super aggressive and she was arguing a way that trying to look smart but it doesn't why makes sense to me and there's another woman she didn't say anything but she just looked at me and keep shaking her head and So eventually I Gally bring it up I was like what um what do you guys think I'm asking their husband and the brothers that are there and none of them dare to say a word that is sick I I don't think that's

okay um I don't think honestly I think those guys are scared of their wives and that is our church that is what it is in a Christian Church this day that women are basically Christian feminist my first argument with a Christian feminist not really an argument we are literally just talking about the scripture but they will bring it up something that is not biblical to argue with you because you trigger them um so that that was when I just started my substack newsletter I was I have problem okay I I'm not perfect and I believe

I can say in a better way especially when you are typing you know people don't see your sincerity they don't see that you love them you care for them um they just see that you are arguing and especially you know I Believe I Can Do Better so what this situation is um this woman she's much older than me think middle age I don't know 40 50 I can't tell okay so she was saying and basically her comment is the same uh that woman submit to their husband husband also submit to their wives because of submitting

one another you know the same verse they used to argue over and over um even though I pointed out that Paul clarified that that you know it's Church to Christ so I don't think husbands submit to wives and that didn't end up well so what I wanted to say is that sisters you know I don't know if you're married for watching this I hope you're not because my m target audience are young adults um who have not married but if you did um you know just know that I'm not attacking your marriage at all okay

so if you have a marriage I want to say to you that I seen a lot of marriage in the church um I join kind of groups Woman's Group I even join marriage groups just to see you know how Christian Family Life how people Randon and I realize a lot of marriage shouldn't even happen in the first place I heard so many people complain about uh their wives doesn't want to have sex with them or so many guys complain about they their wife disrespect them and they don't really complain okay men don't really complain until

he wanted to cheat until he wanted to divorce um they just suck it in which is very unhealthy in my opinion like those guys um they just keep silent in front of their wives and I mean no wonder um no wonder they can't lead their wives because if you can't even defend the biblical truth I can see how you are as a man of the house that you basically let your wife drag you whatever you want that is not okay and to Sister um I I know you don't want to submit to a fool right

what if you know you have all this what if what if he's stupid what if he he is not obedient to God what if he's not fulfilling again it doesn't matter if you already married him you submit to him and all those what if live it to God pray about it and by the way if you have a married make sure you don't marry a fool because this guy is going to be your leader this guy you're going to submit to him don't marry an ungodly man don't be unequally yoke and he he has to

be Godly and wise to lead a family and to provide for a family that is not every little boy out there can do he needs to be a real man um so why do I say that most marriage shouldn't even happen let me tell you this guys girls brothers sisters especially sisters if you don't you know if you and your husband has this problem that he wants sex and you doesn't want to give it to him don't get married you shouldn't even get married if you don't want to submit to your husband don't get married

um so but you get married why because you want kids that's how a lot of women get married or they want a wedding so the reason that women a lot of women I don't care are they worldly woman are they woman in the church they get married for two reason they want kids they want a wedding or at least a rain so but you know I don't see anywhere in the Bible that had wanted to have kids is a reason to get married and you know what Paul said in 1 Corinthian chapter 7 verse 28

he says but if you marry you have not sinned and if a virgin marries she has not sinned yet such will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you so if you read first Corinthians uh all those verses about marriage Paul discouraged marriage he think you shouldn't get married you should only get married if you burn with passion if you have a strong sex drive that you can't hold it back and it will kill you if you can't have sex for the rest of your life including masturbation okay uh you can't

you know engageing any kind of sexual activity then you should get married so it's always your sex drive that should be the reason you want to get married and that means also at the same time Paul said not every man is gifted in the same way so Paul is gifted in singleness he doesn't need sex but a majority of men don't have that gift so you should get married um and it's the same for woman there's never God never said you should get married if you want kids you should get married if you want a

wedding that you can post on your Instagram you can hold a bridal shower um and spend $30,000 on your wedding and 10,000 on your ring that's ridiculous that's not the reason to get married the reason to get married is that you burn with passion you need sex you don't want to to be a nun or a monk for the rest of your life then you should get married so this is what I'm say marriage has been an idol for many many young women and many young guys as well uh Christian men that's what I mean

I I believe worldly men doesn't even want to get married right uh Christian men want to get married um Christian woman want to get married worldly woman want to get married too even though they might not admit that but it is a woman's you know deep desire to be in commit a relationship and be protected and provided for so this is my message if you don't want sex if you just want to have kids and you just want to have a wedding don't get married and I'm speaking this to those who haven't get married okay

um serve the Lord in your singleness you will have so much focus on God because it's so real such will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you that verse just make me laugh so hard because it's so real I seem disaster most marriage are disasters um it it just I don't understand why they get married you know I know as women we wanted to get married When We Were Young um so that we won't be left out but the thing is that's not the reason to get married it's not because

your clock is ticking and no guy should be responsible for your clock um it's your clock if you have no sexual desire you are not ready to you know meet your husband's sexual need in marriage like Paul said don't deprave one another and you don't also argue about the submission thing over and over um then is I wouldn't say you shouldn't get married I would say it's not a time for you to get married because marriage is still just an idol for you um your focus should be on God your focus should be on your

your own purpose because marriage is not going to fix anything you will discover that it will be harder for you to find your purpose after you get married because you get this distracted by what your husband are doing and the same for brothers you get distracted by what your wives are doing but this is extremely applicable to sisters um as wom we wanted to you know do some house you know homemaking and have kids and uh check out how husbands are making money how's his business been doing and if you don't have any business what

I mean business is like your own purpose at this time you're basically just a nanny and he can hire a nanny what do you bring to the table so what I'm saying is that oh you can say well I give birth to children I homeschool them I raise them up that's all wonderful but your children is not going to be with you forever they're going to leave you after 18 years old sometimes even earlier sometime 20 sometime 25 hopefully not after 30 um then what do you have to do in your marriage I'll give you

an example most guys are in the Peak at the peak sorry at their career and they'll probably make the most money when they're about 50 years old right and at that time is also the time uh kids live your family and if you are the mother you the woman now you're old and your kids laugh and your husband is uh you know wealthy or you know at least as wealthy as he can be what do you left to to offer in this marriage you become a liability um so what I'm trying to say is that

you need to find your own purpose if possible before you're married because I've seen girls who about my age got married and without a purpose so she just want to get married and have kids that's all she want and that's all cute and there's no problem in that I want that to um the problem is that she doesn't have a purpose and what she was doing now is to be the free Nanny for the kids so everything she did basically just do grocery send the kids to school bring them back cook that's it and that's

all the woman basically I met in woman's group that's their Al and they're always complaining they're always stressing out they're always stress out and know some of them are homeschooling kids and then they would never have a break and women's group are like their only break so if that's the only break they're going to have a breakdown right and I've seen so many breakdowns in a woman's group and I'm not like judging anybody just saying that it will be so much better if you could find your purpose you know Proverbs 31 Woman right so proverb

31 Woman is like a provider she trade she do business she built venard um she provide for her family she homem make and and her kids praise her her husband praise her so God never said the woman just be a mom you know you just stay at home and all those things a nanny can do yes certainly the mother if the mother do is better but don't be so replaceable and what I'm saying is not that you will be replaced by another woman but you will be replaced by money if your husband just hire a

nanny just hire a cook what is your job right what are you doing so if you can't help you know help his career and you guys are in totally different business totally different profession that's wonderful um then you probably wanted to have your own U profession your own business your own passion so you don't keep all your focus on him it's so toxic there are so many women their eyes are just on their husband and you know when your eyes are just on another person and it it might not just be your husband anyone anyone

else like your kids you just think about are they doing well are they you know doing what you tell them to do what you want them to do you are being manipulated I'm serious if you feel like all of your prayer to the Lord is Lord change him um help my husband uh help my kids uh make him this and that and don't let him do this and that you're in trouble God wants to hear what you know do you want him to do for you he wants to hear you know um Lord what can

I do that that will motivate my husband to be better that will make my kids to be more submissive is there anything I can improve am I you know living up to your standard Lord Jesus am I submissive to my own husband am I the good mother um women don't ourself accountable I'll be the first one to admit that you know sometime we always say like guys this ego and pride no woman have more Pride issue and I never discovered that until I'm active in the church until I'm active in one Ministry women don't hold

them themselves accountable they will find every excuse to not admit that they did wrong that um it will kill them to say sorry so and that was me I'll will be very honest with you that was me I never apologized to anyone before before I was saved I would tell you that much and it's hurting your femininity it's hurting your relationship with anyone with your parent with your husband and um with your girlfriend even because I didn't even really you know apologize to my girlfriend when I did something wrong and they're so loyal to me

um so hold your self accountable is a very attractive thing it's very feminine in woman and it's very masculine in men so you don't want to be that kind of woman who Mar a guy because you can control him you know in your heart you're not attracted to him you know in your heart um you want a masculine man who is a leader right but a majority of Women Marry a man that they can control like those those women I talk about their husband as silence none of them have problem with my point of view

yet none of them say anything like that it's obviously obviously that their wives are becoming so aggressive by a like a peaceful discussion over scripture they're obviously trigger and you can obvious see their dynamic in their marriage but those husband those guys are silent this is the problem of us our society compactive you know musculine rebellious woman and Silent cowardly men this is why the society is sick we don't need you know women don't need to beactive and wear armor and Slaughter a dragon like you know the Disney the more Disney trying to make you

to believe into that is power no look at the Lord of the Ring look at Arwin you know the elf princess look at Cinderella those are the true strong woman and they're also feminine so anyway what I'm trying to say today is that if you find yourself you know get triggered by a Bible verse um meditate on that pray about it why I got so angry at this uh why you know I'm triggered why what is it in me that this verse bring up that exposed that I didn't notice it was there and Lord fixed

that in that area in my life and this happened to me all the time I got triggered by a lot of biblical verse especially if you read Proverbs you know you know um what is that verse it probably repeated like three or four times like uh it's better to live in a corner of a street than to live under the roof with a ous woman I was trigger two years ago when I first opened the Bible but immediately I come I Repent because God says that's not good daughter I don't want you to be like

that and I said yes Father I will change you can trigger me as much as you want and I will happy to be triggered so I can be better and that is holding yourself accountable you shouldn't be with someone or a community uh let alone marrying someone who who don't dare to challenge you to be a better person you should marit to someone who challenge you who expose what is in you um but you never know it was there so this is like you always a combative person you're always a contentious woman uh you are

always this insecure guy but you didn't know that until you get married until this person brings that to the surface it's not your spouse make you like it you're always like that you know you don't know who you are until you're tested that's why I get uh that's why God tests us because it's not because he doesn't see what is in our heart but he wants us to see what is in our hearts and through testing we see it so we can agree with him and work on our problem and hold oursel accountable and ask

the Holy Spirit to help us you know Salvation it's a lifelong process Jesus Christ said he who endures to the end uh he will be saved he didn't say the moment you admit I'm the Son of God you are Sav he who endures to the end he will be saved um and another thing is that a little fun thing about that story um that woman never came to the group again the most aggressive woman uh probably because she doesn't want to see me um but I don't know so I'll try to leave and see if

she will come back as soon as she knew I was gone okay so this is my message today sisters and brothers um find someone who can challenge you find someone iron sharpens iron whether that is a brother a sister sister a spouse you know you don't you don't want to especially sisters don't marry a man you can control you don't love him leave that poor guy alone please okay all right God bless you all and peace