Women Over 50, These are Men's Top 8 First Date Turn Offs in Over 50's Dating

hi everyone I'm Lisa Copeland and I'm a dating coach who helps women over 50 feel joyful and confident and empowered getting out there dating and the biggest thing too is having fun today I want to share with you men's top eight first date turn-offs in over 50s dating I want to share with you how I learned those biggest turn-offs years ago I wrote a Blog for The Huffington Post called the eight dating turn offs men over 50 should stop doing well the blog got over 700 comments and I will tell you some of them were

really really funny unfortunately those comments are totally gone now but it was really interesting to read because both men and women commented and women agreed with what I wrote and they added a few more turn offs to the list but the interesting thing was men chimed in with what they thought women needed to know that turned them off and I want to share these eight turn offs with you today so you're not doing them on a date so let's get started the first turn off really surprised me now this part when I tell you the

turn off doesn't it's what it meant so turn off number one is men want to meet the real you so the biggest thing I heard about over and over again was about shapewear and as women we're told we're shapewear that enhances you it makes you look better you'll look 10 pounds lighter if it doesn't cut your circulation off first but I'll tell you men wrote time and again in those comments they were not happy when they had dated a woman and it was time to get intimate and she showed up in bed with a totally

different body than the one that was showing up on dates together and that included also they were not thrilled about having to get that shapewear off for you now they felt like when you wore shapewear it was like false advertising and for you because let's face it shapewear is not comfortable you actually want a man who's gonna like you exactly how you are and you can have that by always showing up as the real you both online and in person and the other thing is is Come To Love Yourself for who you are just how

you are because men of all types love women of all shapes and sizes all right turn off number two is when you complain about the men in your life to a man on a first date Sometimes women show up on the date and they complain about how bad the last date was or they talk about how their ex did something stupid that day and men don't like women showing up on a date and the first words coming out of their mouth involve some type of male bashing the reason they don't like it is they think

God what the heck are you going to say about me after this date you also come across as a drama queen when you're talking trash about other men and if it's the second date that you want with a nice man do yourself a favor and process your stories about your axes with your female friends not with other men and the reason for this is men are wired to fix things for you and when you have an issue with an ax who really might have been terrible to you a man who's just met you doesn't have

the ability to fix for you yet so he also feels super frustrated like he can't help you and that makes him feel inadequate so again your girlfriends are the place to be sharing this information if you've had bad dates or had an ax really do something not great turn off number three is be sure you're posting current pictures of yourself online you want to post pictures that are less than a year old and this is something I know men do this too it should be obvious to both sexes to be posting current pictures and I

always tell my clients at least have a picture of your face and a full-length picture of your body because I will tell you men think you're hiding something when you only post pictures of your faces and the thing is is women think oh you know if they get to know me I have a really good personality and if they meet me they're gonna think hey you know I'm really great and they'll ignore whatever I'm not feeling good about myself and my body and that's a great thought but it doesn't work that way when you post

pictures that don't represent who you are today you come across as a liar and neither you nor a man has interest in dating someone who misrepresents themselves so an example of this is I knew a guy who had talked to a woman even like I'm talking to you they had been on Skype together and they talked for a good you know a good amount of time and they really liked each other and they went to meet and yet when she got out of the car he saw her get out of the car and when she

got out of the car she was very very overweight and he ended up driving by her he did not even Park and I thought this was really mean and told him but he said to me you know what she misrepresented herself she didn't tell me or show me in her pictures who she really was and again you want a man who's going to like you just how you are so don't hide who you are uh embrace it really love who you are because it's that energy about feeling good about yourself is what's going to go

out there and what men will be attracted to and I will tell you that this goes for Age Two we are so often told that we look a lot younger because we're comparing ourselves to our grandparents who really did look old and you don't want to try and pass yourself off as 50 something if you're in your 60s or a 60 something if you're in your 70s tell your real age because men are attracted to your picture and if you have great pictures they're going to see that they look at pictures of women of all

ages regardless of what they have in their profile and that is what they're attracted to and I'll tell you there are plenty of men who will be interested in dating you just as you are let me give you an example of this this is from Heather a client of mine and I think you'll really get this okay especially if you're afraid of dating because of your age Heather wrote to me and she said when I met you and began Your Love after 50 group program I was 73 years old over six feet tall and I

had not dated in many many many years I saw my age and my height as real obstacles to finding a relationship and to my amazement the man I found while working with you in addition to having every single quality I was looking for in a partner saw these as assets as a widower he had not dated in many years and he loves tall women and he never lets me forget that he is two years younger than I am I believe that we found each other because of Lisa's guidance helping me get really clear on who

I wanted fine tuning my profile to reflect that Vision along with having access to all of the tools that she has created for the program and her personal guidance unsure and very hesitant to start dating again she was my perfect match for making this happen in my life and Heather is having the time of her life with this man because she didn't let age or her height and how she looked get in the way she embraced them and this man was attracted to her as a result of it all right let's talk about turn off

number four men hate this don't make a man Your Pet Project even though you may hate a man's lifestyle most men are okay with their lifestyle they're okay with themselves and the way they live and I will tell you time and time again men have said to me that it is the biggest turn off when a woman comes in and starts telling him that he has to change something about himself to fit into her life what you want to do is if you don't like a man for who he is move on because if you

take on a man and you try and change him some men are open to that and they will like it in the beginning but over time they will feel that you are controlling and suffocating and you'll have changed them all right but you'll have changed them for another woman so the best thing to do is not to even start changing men it really is like him or move on so let's go to turn off number five hey we are strong independent women but let's talk about how to use that strength in the dating world so

like most women our age chances are you've done a really great job being Superwoman and you know how to do things fast you know how to do them efficiently and quickly so it's hard to give this up but I'm going to tell you if you want an over 50s man in your life you want to find the space for him and give him the ability to feel needed by taking care of some things for you remember when it comes to showing you love men give it in the form of action not words and when he

doesn't feel you need him he'll move on to someone who does so you want to make that decision to figure out what's more important to you being Superwoman and doing it all yourself or being a woman who can accept help from a man now I know a lot of times you think but if I accept help that makes me come across as weak not at all it makes you come across as someone that would like to have a man in her life that can help her he knows you can do it he just wants to

make your life easier for you all right turn off number six watch how much you drink on a first date now here's why I'm the biggest fan of a good dirty martini but I will tell you that pounding down one Martini after another even if you think you have the tolerance for it it makes the man think you either have a drinking problem or it's a bad date it also impairs your judgment which can lead to the next turn off turn off seven which is watch what you wear and do on a first date of

course you want to go on a date showing off the best you you want to take pictures showing off the best you as well so choose clothes that make you feel amazing but I want you to be aware of clothing that reveals too much of the girls or any other part of your body because when you're doing all this revealing even though it is sexy you're showing up with the vibe that you want sex tonight on this first date now it is okay to show a little cleavage that doesn't give off that vibe that does

give off a sensual Vibe if you want to do it but if you full out show the girls or anything else is hanging out it says you're looking to hook up on that first date and that's okay you are more than welcome to hook up just be safe about it because the numbers for syphilis in our age group have skyrocketed the high highest numbers belong to teenagers and we are second behind it so it is always your choice but decide what vibe you want to give off when you show up on that date and where

you want that date to go and then just honor yourself with that either way is fine all right turn off number eight be kind to men who write to you online you know men put themselves out there way more than we as women do and women are constantly rejecting them I mean constantly it's a lot of times it's why you see bitter profiles because they've been rejected so many times that they too like we can put walls up to protect ourselves so even when you're not feeling you're a fit with a man at least take

a minute thank him for writing to you and let him know you just feel you don't have enough in common then wish him luck on this dating Journey men will write you back and they will say oh my God thank you I really appreciate you doing that and I always think it's like paying it forward if you do this to men men will be nicer to other women it works both ways by the way and if we were all nicer to each other online it would make dating so much easier for everyone so I would

love to hear what you think of these turn offs and feel free to comment below about what you're thinking also if you haven't done it yet I hope you'll subscribe because I love sharing different things about dating with you and how to be successful at this time in your life finding love and so be sure to subscribe and be sure to like this video and also let me know what you'd like to hear more about so that I'm covering the topics that you want to know more about as a woman who can find love at

this time in your life so believing in you until next time take care