Does the Internet Make You Meaner?

(calm music) - Do you ever catch yourself saying something online that you probably wouldn't say in real life? I'm looking at you internet trolls. Got something bad to say to me?

Come at me bro, come on. I'm just kidding. We don't get trolls on our videos.

Y'all are all great. But you know what I'm talking about, right? Like for example, my name is Myles with a Y, Bess, B-E-S-S and I got into a little altercation with a guy 'cause his name was miles with an I, B-E-S-T.

So I was talking trash. I just kept tweeting him like there can only be one. I'm better than you, get off Twitter.

Now I was the aggressor in the whole situation. I probably wouldn't a done it if I had to see him face to face but I was online and I felt protected by the internet. (upbeat music) I think we've all seen how online conversations can quickly take a turn for the worse.

Just look at any time a woman posts anything on social media. There's always somebody commenting about how she looks or how she's doing something wrong. Just ask my friend Julia from Two Cents, a personal finance show on YouTube.

- You're so right Myles. I have the very unique experience of becoming pregnant, visibly so and having the baby while I had a YouTube channel and while I was talking about like important things about money and trying to teach, so many of the comments were focused on my ever changing body. - It kinda feels like it's super easy to be mean to each other online.

So today we're asking, is the internet making us mean? So it's a real thing. The internet really can make people act differently online than they do face to face.

Researchers call this the online disinhibition effect. You know that little inner voice in the back of your head that tells you something might be a bad idea? Well the internet can kinda shut that voice up.

You might end up saying or doing something mean that you'll regret later or sharing something that's a little TMI. But online this disinhibition effect isn't always a bad thing. Plot twist, sometimes good things can come from the disinhibition effect.

Like when someone might open up about something private online and get some much needed support. Let me break it down for you. Back in 2004, psychologist John Suler published a paper outlining this phenomenon.

This paper's kind of a big deal. It's been sited over 3,000 times. That means it's shown up in a bunch of other research.

In the paper there's two types of disinhibition, toxic disinhibition where you have a tendency to act meaner that you would in real life, making the internet a hostile place. But there's also benign disinhibition, where people can open up and share more than they normally would, which can create a positive online experience. So why do we act differently online?

Well if you think about it, there's a lot about chatting online that's pretty different than talking in person. And it's these differences that can lead us to do things online that we normally wouldn't do. In the paper, there's about six main things about online communication that lower disinhibition.

But for this video, we'll focus on the big three. One, anonymity, two lag time, and three, lack of nonverbal cues. Okay first, let's discus anonymity, which by the way is one of the hardest words to say in the English language.

Anony-ny-ny, nevermind. A lot of time we're communicating online, we're anonymous, which means other users don't know who we really are. This is especially true on forums or anonymous apps and this lack of accountability can make us feel free to do or say whatever.

We're less worried about real life consequences because no one knows who we are. So you might just be saying stuff all willy-nilly. But on the other hand, you could open up about personal stuff that's bothering you.

Next up is lag time. When we're communicating online and on social media, it doesn't always happen in real time. There's often a delay between when we post something and when we get a response and this lag time can lead us to say more impulsive stuff.

We could just post something and bounce and not really worry about the consequences. (sad music) But on the flip side, this delay can also give us more time to pause and think about how we respond to something. Finally, let's talk about how there's a lack of non-verbal cues online.

So even if you know who someone is online, you can't always read their body language, facial expressions, or tone, which gives you super valuable information on how they may be feeling. Without these cues to respond to, you might not self-censor as much. Like if you're talking to someone face to face and you can read that they're unhappy or bored or indifferent to what you're saying, you might choose to shut up.

But online, you don't have those cues, so you'll probably just keep going. Side note, this is exactly why we need a sarcasm font. It's gotten me in trouble way too much.

Okay so all that can help explain why we act differently online and like I said before, some times that's a good thing and sometimes it's bad. This kind of freedom can create really supportive environments online. It can be helpful if you're young and trying to figure out your identity.

Like take for example someone who's thinking about coming out. They can find support in hearing about other people's journeys and they can post and ask questions that they may otherwise not feel comfortable asking in person. And there's research to back this up.

There's a positive association between online forums and wellbeing of people in marginalized groups. Online communities can also help people deal with problems they might be too shy or embarrassed to talk about in person. Like if you're grappling with a health problem or a relationship concern or a variety of other sensitive issues and these types of meaningful connections can be a really good thing.

Like really good. Really good. And benefits of online forums can extend into the real world.

People can feel empowered to rally and organize behind causes. But the flip side of all of this is that people are also inclined to act out, so it's not surprising that recent surveys have found that 40% of adults have experienced harassment online and 66% have witnessed it. And 59% of teens have been harassed or cyberbullied.

Not cool people, just be nice. Of course it's not all the online disinhibition effect that makes us act a certain way online. Other things like your personality and your life experiences definitely influence how you act.

Researchers have even found that there are certain online conditions that can provoke people into trolling. If you wanna learn more about that, check out our video on internet trolls. You know I love a shameless plug.

So for better or worse, the internet really can make you act differently than you would face to face. So as always, I'm your host Myles Bess. Now I share when I was mean to Miles Best, but now I wanna know, have you ever acted differently online than you would in person?

Tell us about it in the comments below. Feeling inspired to learn more about how technology affects you? Be sure to check out our video that asks, when is the right age to start using social media?

I also wanna give a shout out to Common Sense Education who we collabed with on this video. If you're a teacher, be sure to check out their digital citizenship curriculum in the description below. Thanks guys.

You're awesome. Till next time, peace out.