If You Are Over 60, Here's Who You Shouldn't Live With - BUDDHIST LESSONS FOR LIFE

learning to live is not just a skill it is an art but getting old is a real skill as an old friend of mine a monk from a remote Monastery in the mountains of Tibet used to say this wisdom has burrowed deeper into my heart over time when you're over 60 life is no longer about the running around that accompanied you in your youth now it's not just how you live your life that matters but who you live it with let me ask you a question have you ever wondered why after a certain age our

relationships with people can become a heavy burden someone lives with a family husband children maybe even grandchildren and someone with friends or alone seems like it should be simple but in reality it feels different life like the house we build around us depends on who we let into our personal space and so if you're over 60 there are certain types of people you definitely shouldn't share shelter with they drain your energy impair your health and worse make you hostile to their problems and fears but before we delve into this fascinating topic if my words resonate

subscribe and leave a six word comment takes a second but it will help the channel grow now let's talk about one of the most dangerous types of people to seniors the constant complainer do you know anyone like this these are the ones who find problems in everything the weather is wrong the pension is small the kids are misbehaving and so on and so forth you just woke up in the morning and they're ready to pour their whining on you from head to toe people like that are dangerous to live with complaining is like a virus

that spreads and takes over your mind over time you begin to see the world through their distorted perception everything is bad everyone is to blame life is not good but that's not true is it there are so many opportunities that are open to us even after 60 if you want to keep a clear mind and joy in your soul stay away from those who see the world only Gray Shades think about it how often do you hear complaints from those around you and most importantly how do you feel after communicating with them Perhaps it is

time to put in order not only in the house but also in the circle of communication ah well well we continue if everything is clear with the complainers then let's talk about another category of people with whom the elderly categorically cannot live these are the so-called energy vampires who are they well they're not the ones who drink your blood of course although honestly sometimes it feels like that's exactly what they are they suck your energy Your vitality and most importantly they do it so sneakily that you don't even notice here's an example your neighbor comes

to you all smiling seemingly nice brings you pies asks how you are doing and then it starts oh and I have everything bad oh and you do not have this and how do you live and how are you even coping with this old age and so after an hour of these conversations you feel completely devastated you didn't fight or complain openly but you feel like you've been ripped off you know I had a case like that a friend of mine let's call her Maria lived with her daughter she was a good girl but as soon

as she had a problem she ran to her mom and everything would be fine but this girl's problem seemed to permeate the whole house she would come and tell her how her boyfriend had hurt her how the boss at work wouldn't give her peace Maria listened and tried to help but after a couple of years of such coexistence she did not know where her own life and we the problems of her daughter what's my point don't live with those who make you constantly solve their problems you have your own life your own worries and most

importantly your own health after 60 every extra worry can be costly and there is no shame in saying honey I need to be alone for a while or let you solve this problem on your own Buddhists say that each person carries their own Karma and if you constantly interfere in other people's Affairs you don't let a person learn from his mistakes and also you take someone else's Karma someone else's problems and negativity on yourself don't do that life is too short to carry someone else's problems and now a question for you are there such people

in your environment who pull energy out of you without even asking if so maybe it's it's time to distance yourself a little after all ultimately each of us is responsible for our own happiness well I'm glad you're still here that means my words are resonating let's keep talking we've already talked about complainers and energy vampires but there's another type of person the elderly should stay away from controllers oh I'm sure you know the ones these are the ones who constantly feel it is their duty to tell you how to live your life the right way

here's an example you're in your 60s you know exactly what you want out of life you've worked all your life raised your children gone through ups and downs and suddenly someone appears whether it's your relative or an old friend who starts dictating to you what you should eat where you should go how you should spend your time oh you shouldn't go out so much you're already of age why do you need a new hobby you're not young anymore are you you shouldn't date men what are you thinking I'll tell you frankly such people should be

bypassed if they can't accept that your life is your life you see the thing is we're all responsible for ourselves and no one has the right to decide for you how to live your life especially when you are of an age where you can afford to do what you want Buddhism teaches us not to get attached to the expectations of others they say let go of attachment to approval and you will find true freedom but here's the interesting thing it's not always others trying to control us consciously often it's because of their own fear the

fear that they themselves will someday find themselves in your situation retired alone without any concrete plan for life I had an acquaintance who was controlled by her son she wanted to go on a trip with her friends and he would tell her mom it's not safe you might fall get sick and what am I going to do and what she stayed at home didn't travel because of his fears even though she could have enjoyed life visiting new places and making new friends my dear ones remember your life is your work of art and no one

has the right to be your sensor you decide who you want to live with where you want to go and what you want to do let everyone live their own life and no one prevents you from living yours think about it are there people in your environment who are trying to control or limit you what are they causing you to miss out on maybe it's time to put them in their place respectfully but firmly so that you don't let them interfere in your Affairs anymore grown children I can't do without them oh I know many

of you are smiling right now because everyone over 60 probably has at least one adult child who feels like they can't break the umbilical cord with Mom or Dad but let's be honest sometimes living with adult children after 60 isn't just hard it can be devastating let's break down why have you ever wondered why some children long grown continue to act like they're still dependent on their parents you probably have your own examples you seem to have raised them all their lives to become independent to learn from their mistakes to build their own lives but

something went wrong as adults they return home or worse they don't leave home and it starts mom cook me something to eat dad help me with money I need your help how can you leave me these adult children often become an anchor it's as if they are holding you in place preventing you from moving on developing enjoying life and the worst part is they do it under the guise of Love they convince you that you just have to help them after all you are parents how can you say no to your own son they say

and something inside you starts to crack of course how can you say no after all it's your child even if he's 40 years old but here's the truth that no one tells you by helping such adult children all the time you not only deprive them of the opportunity to become independent but also deprive yourself of the right to happiness in bud bu ISM there is such a thing as role attachment this is when we become so immersed in our role whether it is the role of mother father wife husband that we forget about ourselves as

individuals you are not only a mom or a dad you are also a person who has a right to your own life your own interests your own Pleasures I am reminded of the story of a woman let's call her Natalia she was in her 60s and she spent her life helping her son who by the age of 40 had not been able to find a a stable job he lived with her didn't pay rent didn't help with chores and constantly demanded money well how can I kick him out she complained to me he's my son

after all and then one day Natalia got sick seriously ill she had to go to another city for treatment and her son didn't even offer to help her didn't take care of the house nothing he went on with his life as if nothing had happened that's when she realized ized that her own health and life had been sacrificed for his convenience and that was the breaking point for her she realized that by continuing to help him in this way she was simply destroying both herself and him and now the question for you do you have

such adult children who live at your expense use you and you do not even notice how it destroys your life maybe it's time to have a Frank talk with them and set boundaries after all at the end of the day you don't have to be their Eternal support ah lovers now that's an interesting topic isn't it I know you're waiting for me to touch on this delicate subject who says intimacy has to end after 60 I'll tell you nobody but here's the rub living with lovers especially as we age is just as dangerous a gamble

as When We Were Young if not worse as we age we become wiser but that doesn't mean that passions subside sometimes even on the contrary the desire for intimacy increases and we look for someone with whom we can share not only mental warmth but something hotter yes yes don't pretend I know that many of you still have a fire in your soul but is that fire worth bringing into the house let's get to the bottom of this who do older people usually get involved with most often it is someone from old acquaintances friends or what

often happens with someone who is younger and that's where the complications start while as you age you realize that relationships require respect p patience and freedom not all lovers especially those younger than you understand this a friend of mine let's call her Galina fell in love with a man 20 years younger than her he was not only handsome but also energetic which attracted her strongly they started living together and at first everything was wonderful she felt young again happy and even began to lead an active lifestyle as in her younger years but as time went

on things changed this man began to demand more and more of her attention more energy more resources he became another child in her life he needed her to take care of him cook for him help with money as if it was her responsibility to raise him not him to create an equal relationship with her so what happened she burned out passion faded and in the relationship remained only complaints and irritation she realized that this relationship ship was not only draining her physically but also robbing her of her emotional freedom but most importantly she realized that

living with lovers after 60 is not about passion but about balance and respect and if that's not there it's better to live separately and enjoy a long-distance Affair but let's not limit ourselves to stories with younger lovers even if your partner is the same age or older this is not yet a guarantee of Harmony older people often start living together because they fear loneliness but the truth is that fear is a bad motivator for any relationship especially for those that begin in adulthood think about it why are you looking for a lover or companion is

it really a desire to share your life with someone or is it fear of being alone and most importantly if you're already in a relationship do you feel respect and freedom or is this relationship only weighing your life down now let's talk about how to be a man after six and who he should definitely not live with yes yes I know you think that at this age you can live with anyone as long as it was warm and cozy but here's the truth not all people bring value to your life and that's especially true for

women who some of you may pursue relationships with after becoming single let's talk about the type of women I call caregivers these ladies tend to show up in your life just when you are feeling most vulnerable maybe you've recently gone through a divorce or lost a a beloved wife or maybe you just feel lonely and here comes a woman who is ready to take care of you it would seem that what's wrong with that who doesn't want attention and care but wait there are pitfalls first everything may look fine she makes you breakfast asks how

you're doing even offers to help with household problems but gradually you start to notice that she's getting more and more involved in your life she starts to control who you socialize with what you do and even what you're into why do you need these meetings with your friends you're not young anymore you need more rest she says and you start to think maybe she's right but in fact this is not care but control a woman who turns your life into a routine under the pretext of I care about you actually makes you dependent on her

and that's not exactly what a man needs in his adulthood you know I know a guy he was a widower when he met a woman 30 years younger than him at first he was happy because he liked that she took care of him but after a year he realized that she was literally controlling his every move he couldn't go fishing with friends he couldn't decide for himself what he wanted to eat for dinner and even his hobby of collecting rare coins came under her criticism she said it was a waste of time he ended up

becoming a recluse in his own home what am I saying a man at any age especially after 60 should remain the master of of his life and if the woman who is next to you begins to deprive you of Freedom whether it is freedom of action thoughts or Hobbies run in a relationship there should be support but not total control Buddhism teaches us that true love is respect for the other person's Freedom now think about it is there a woman in your life who seems to care but actually makes you Hostage to her rules are

you ready to live your mature life under such control or is it time to take responsibility for your happiness into your own hands and so let's talk about that category of people who don't recognize your boundaries and don't value your time every one of us has encountered someone who thinks that your day can be spent doing their business these people will always find an excuse to ask you for help you're not busy you have a pension now why not help it's familiar isn't it they don't see anything wrong with it because for them your time

is like an endless supply that can be used at will and most importantly they believe that you just have to say yes but here's the truth of life after 60 your time becomes more valuable than ever it's your most important resource you've worked all your life raised your children taken care of your family and now it's time to let yourself live for yourself but how do you do that when you're constantly being burdened with other people's problems that's what I'm talking about it's important to learn to assert your right to privacy Buddhists teach us that

peace and Inner Harmony are achieved when we clearly understand where our boundaries are and those who do not respect your boundaries are people you should stay away from even if they seem close everyone is entitled to rest and personal time and you don't have to be on top of others all the time you've probably noticed that after meeting or interacting with such people you're left feeling drained it's as if you spent the whole day on something foreign and there was not a minute left for yourself and things could have been different if you had just

said no yeah it's hard especially when it comes to loved ones who are used to getting your help but sometimes the best thing you can do is to protect your time and your energy think about it how often in your life do you feel like you're spending your time on things that aren't really important to you are you ready to start standing up for your right to Peace and Freedom even if it means saying no to those who are used to taking advantage of you let's move on you know there's another category of people that

seniors are better off not living with these these are the ones who constantly remind you to age as if old age is the end of everything and that you should sit back and wait these people are real pessimists who like to repeat phrases like at your age it's time to or why would you want to do that because you're not young anymore they may seem caring but in reality they're only hurting your confidence let me be blunt age is not a judgment if you're over 60 it doesn't mean you should stop enjoying life doing the

things you enjoy or learning new things things but the pessimists around you will try to convince you otherwise they will remind you of every little thing as if you should give up all your desires as you get older these are the people who say you shouldn't be traveling anymore or you shouldn't be starting a new project and here's the important thing their fears and limitations aren't yours at all I've met people who in their 70s or 80s are still living life to the fullest and they feel much younger than those who constantly complain about age

because it's not about numbers it's about how you approach life and if there are those around you who are constantly dragging you down with their negative comments you'd better stay away from them there is a wisdom in Buddhism we become what we constantly think about and if someone insinuates to you that age is a disease you run the risk of starting to believe it but once you start surrounding yourself with people who share your positive outlook on life you yourself start to feel differently the world around you Chang es you see that even after 60

you can enjoy every day discover new things and be active here's what's important to realize people who focus on their fears of Aging are projecting them onto you they are trying to hold you Hostage to their beliefs but your body and mind are your responsibility and it's up to you to decide how to live out your years now think about it are there those around you who are constantly telling you that you don't need something anymore and most importantly how ready are you to free yourself from their influence and start living the way you want

to live not the way someone else thinks is right for your age continuing our conversation let's touch on another important topic how often have you heard the phrase you're too old to start something new or at your age it's better not to take risks this opinion is often imposed not only by Outsiders but also most surprisingly by family and friends and here we come to another category that seniors should not live with those who limit your potential and don't believe in your abilities you may say come on I'm in my 60s what new opportunities are

there but let me remind you that many great discoveries new Endeavors and hobbies were started by people just at an advanced age age is not a barrier if you don't let it become one but unfortunately some people around you will do everything they can to convince you otherwise they say why do you need to learn new things are you going to build a career or you don't care about the gym anymore why would you want to do that sound familiar these people are acting on their fears and often they don't even realize they're doing you

a disservice they think they are protecting you from unnecessary hardship but in reality they are limiting you remember after 60 A New Life Begins can be bright rich and full of possibilities if you give yourself permission to do so Buddhism teaches us not not to be attached to the past and not to be afraid of the future it's important to find joy in the present moment and that's impossible if you're constantly thinking about what you can't do because of your age you know I often meet people who after retirement discover talents they didn't even know

they had before someone starts painting someone learns a new sport and someone starts his own business and such people Inspire not only me but everyone around me because they prove that life after 60 does not end it just goes into a new phase and I'll tell you this don't let anyone be it a relative friend or neighbor tell you that your opportunities are limited by age they aren't your opportunities are only limited by what you are willing to believe and if someone doesn't believe in you that's their problem not yours now the question is who

in your environment encourages you to think that after 60 it's too late to start something new and are you ready to ignore such advice and just what you've wanted to do for a long time but have been putting it off after all it's never too late to really start living well if you're ready for the shocking truth here it is after 60 you owe no one anything yes yes I said it and this applies not only to your friends relatives but also to the closest people you consider your support it's time to recognize that no

one has the right to demand that you live the way they want you to live or adjust to their expectations here's a question why is it so common in our society to think that older people are obliged to put the interests of others above their own you raised your children worked for your family supported your family and friends but now that it's time to live for yourself there will always be those who try to convince you that it's selfish what do you mean you won't help your grandchildren or how can you go on vacation when

we have such problems here the shocking truth is that many people see you as a resource they feel that since you have time you just have to spend it on them and here's where it gets interesting once you say no they start to pressure you how could you what right do you have to live for yourself but let's be honest from when did your life cease to be yours since when are you obliged to be on the backs of others all the time yes you have children grandchildren friends but that doesn't mean you have to

give up your personal time for their comfort Buddhism teaches us one important thing you cannot help others if you destroy yourself in the process and how often do you destroy yourself by giving in to guilt or Duty and here's another shocking thought if you don't start living for yourself now when will you after 60 life can be fulfilling and adventurous if you give yourself that permission think about it how many times in recent years have you put your desires on hold in order to fulfill someone else's request and how many times have you said to

yourself I deserve a vacation but not now later the truth is that later may not come and if you don't start valuing your time someone else is sure to take it and you'll be left with the feeling that life has passed you by now ask yourself this question how many times in recent years have you lived not for yourself but for others and most importantly are you ready to take a shocking step and finally start living for yourself after all if not now when the truth is that each of us after 60 is faced with

a CH Choice continue to adjust to the expectations of others or finally take our lives into our own hands this Choice may be uncomfortable for others but it will set you free here's what's important to realize no one is going to come along and tell you that you can now live only for yourself on the contrary there will always be those who will convince you that you are obliged to sacrifice something they will insinuate that at your age you should no longer think about yourself but the truth is that this is your time your chance

to live your years the way you want you've earned it I've said it before and I'll say it again Buddhists believe that each of us is responsible for our own lives and happiness no one else can take that responsibility and you know what that's great after all it means that you are the one who gets to choose how you live your life you want to take a trip do it want to start a new hobby study play sports fall in love you're welcome the world is open to you and if someone doesn't realize that or

tries to stop you from doing so that's their problem people will always find excuses for their limitations and they want you to accept their world full of fears and prohibitions but why should you have to live by their rules why when you have already done so much for others not allow yourself to be free and here's another important point I want to leave you with age is not an indicator that it's time to stop on the contrary it is an opportunity to start something new because you now have wisdom and experience that you didn't have

before this is not a time to adjust to other people's expectations this is a time to pursue your own dreams and now for the last question I want to ask you are you finally ready to recognize that your life belongs to you alone and that no one absolutely no one has the right to dictate how you live it or are you right about it honestly my dears since I can't dub the video myself yet I'm using artificial intell Ence for dubbing if you notice any mistakes or inaccuracies let me know in the comments your help

will make the content better and of course don't forget to subscribe if my words resonate in your heart after all this is just the beginning of our journey to Freedom peace and real life