Why Do They Come Back After Rejecting You?

hi everyone welcome back to my channel if you're new here i'm courtney ryan and today we're going to be talking about what makes someone come back after rejecting you or breaking up with you really just not wanting to be with you anymore i get a ton of questions about this in my emails dms comments you name it every single day courtney she broke up with me but she came back a year later and wants to be with me now or she rejected me and then came back a couple months later what's going on and a

lot of you are very confused about why this happened so i'm going to do my best to explain it today i'm going to go over some different scenarios that might be the case and kind of give you guys a little breakdown so let's get started number one you're doing well and she noticed this one is a tale as old as time this is the one i see most commonly on social media i see talked about the most in movies and just really online in general i think this one happens a lot so say you posted

about a new job you got and then all of a sudden the next day she's in your inbox or in your text messages asking you how you're doing and hoping to meet up for a drink again a tale as old as time and i'm not even going to discriminate here and say that women are the only ones that do this men do this too every single guy i have ever dated has done this to me like clockwork they always come back it happens every time um so i'm not going to say this video is for

men or women specifically because i think it's for everyone so maybe she broke up with you or she turned you down then all of a sudden she's reaching out to see how you're doing it's probably because she sees that you're doing just fine without her or you're doing really well and it got her attention she might regret her decision and realizes how great you are and she comes creeping back in to see how you're doing hoping that she can sneak her way back in this is another really important reason why i always tell you guys

you know you can't control what happens to you but you can control the way that you respond and react to it so being able to handle situations in a respectful mature and graceful way um makes you look better and it's the most powerful thing that you can do in a situation that maybe didn't necessarily go your way but you're still handling it well this is so attractive to women and i'm not telling you this to be manipulative or to trick her i genuinely want you to start reacting this way to everything in your life not

just with women because it makes you look like a guy that has his life together a guy who you know can handle tough situations that are thrown at him who isn't going to freak out and cause a scene if he doesn't get his way for example here maybe she ended things with you and you absolutely freaked out you did not handle it well it's only going to solidify her decision to walk away from you and to not want to be with you she's going to be like wow thank goodness it didn't work out with that

guy he was crazy so the last thing you want to do is freak out or blow up her phone or be a jerk about it being able to keep your cool and signal to her that you'll be just fine without her is probably the best thing that you can do and is incredibly attractive and the reason why is because it shows security in yourself and confidence which we all know that the opposite sex loves so again just another point proven that acting clingy and needy and desperate is not the move and is not going to

do you any favors one thing i'll say here that i want all of you to keep in mind if this is something that has happened to you is if the only reason she's coming back around is because you got a really great new job that pays really well or you became youtube famous or whatever it is if it's only for clout i don't necessarily know if you should be so willing to accept this person back in your life if that's the only thing that they like you for so be wary of this keep it in

mind of course this is not always the case people do come back for genuine reasons which i'll talk about later in the video but it's up to you whether or not you accept someone back in your life and i do think there are instances where rolling out the red carpet and just letting them back into your life is probably not the best option so of course up to you at the end of the day but just something to consider alright scenario number two is that they couldn't find anything better i have seen this happen way

too many times especially with the rise of social media constant comparison online uh too many options feeling like you don't know if you made the right choice with the person that you're with you name it i've seen it and it happens way too often maybe they felt like they were missing out or they were gonna try to find something better um and then when they don't they come crawling back to you because you're their second option and i really do think that this is perpetuated by our never satisfied tendencies and our lack of commitment that

i see so commonly within modern dating and to this i would say do you really want to be someone's second choice do you really only want to be with someone because they felt like they couldn't find anything better than you do you really want to be with someone who only came back into your life because their quest for someone better failed keep in mind here too that there's always going to be someone better at something than you there's going to be someone prettier smarter who makes more money who drives a better car i mean you

could go on and on about all the things that you could compare yourself to or that someone else could compare you to but i do think appreciating what you have being content with what you have being grateful for the people in your life instead of constantly looking for something better and always feeling unsatisfied is really no way to live your life and if someone did come back into your life after they couldn't find anything better and you are the second choice who's to say that they're not going to do that again or if they do

find someone better they're not just going to leave you in the dust so again i don't want to scare you or worry you but these are just things you have to keep in mind when you let someone back into your life who maybe didn't treat you right the first time and i'll say this too to close this one out being satisfied and grateful for what you have instead of constantly looking for something more or something better is something that people fail to do and i think it's a one-way ticket to an unhappy unfulfilled life number

three is a little bit more of a positive one here and that is genuine time to grow believe it or not it does happen and people will come back into your life for no malicious reasons other than maybe they realized that they needed some time maybe they needed time to heal and to grow and now they're ready to you know be in a relationship and see where things go maybe just maybe they're coming back for a genuine reason and you don't need to worry as cliche as it might sound i do think sometimes people need

some time apart to work on themselves to grow on their own in order for something to work out with someone else and maybe that's not just with you but with anyone maybe regardless of who they were going to be with they just needed some time to focus on themselves maybe they weren't at a good place maybe they weren't ready for a relationship i mean the reasons here are endless i could go on and on but those are some common ones that i see so again if this person comes back into your life and wants to

give things another shot i just think it's important that you both are on the same page i don't think it's healthy or productive to sit around and wait for someone if that's what has happened to you i would maybe think twice about it you can miss out on so many amazing opportunities or people because you're sitting around and waiting for someone that you don't even know is going to show up or come back around so i would never recommend doing that but maybe if you both took some time to work on yourselves and things end

up coming back together that's up to you and don't forget here the most important relationship you will ever have in your entire life with anyone is the relationship that you have with yourself and that kind of sets the stage and sets the tone for every other relationship that you have in your life so if this person wasn't at a good place with themselves there's no way that they could be a great partner to you so keep that in mind again not everyone comes back from malicious intentions i think sometimes space and time to grow and

to heal on your own is incredibly important and makes you a better friend or daughter or brother or partner in this case right number four is you're with someone new and i wish this one wasn't the case it's kind of one of those shake my head type of scenarios but it definitely happens maybe she saw you post a picture with a new girl or she heard through the grapevine that you're with someone new and now all of a sudden she's into you again if this has ever happened to you let me know down in the

comments below i would love to hear your personal stories about this one because sadly i think it happens a lot more common than we think and a big reason is because i don't know if men are necessarily this way as much as women are but when a woman sees a guy she used to talk to or maybe a guy that really liked her but she didn't give him a chance with another girl it makes him seem like a more suitable partner because he was able to get another girl if that makes sense and makes her

view him in a more positive light i know that sounds messed up because quite frankly it is but i think a lot of girls operate like that and to give you an example i mean think about a guy that you know maybe isn't that attractive maybe he doesn't have that much going for him everyone's kind of wondering how the heck he's pulling all these hot girls but he continues to get the hot girls because the new hot girls or the other hot girls are seeing that he got the attractive girls and it's just like a

cycle that keeps on going so the same thing can kind of be said here um you know when they see you with someone new maybe this is someone that didn't even give you a chance maybe you really liked her and she kept shooting you down or putting you in the friend zone and then she sees you with someone new and all of a sudden she's into you you're like what the heck this one i do think often stems from jealousy or insecurity or them wanting the attention that you're not giving them anymore and now you're

giving to someone else and they don't want you to be giving that attention to someone else so they swoop back in hoping to get that from you again i reacted to a tick tock about this once and basically this girl was saying um how much it sucks when a guy who you were never going to give a chance stops giving you attention and starts seeing someone else like sometimes they literally just want your attention they don't even want to date you they don't see anything serious with you they don't see anything long-term or anything forming

they just really genuinely want your attention which in that case know when you're the attention guy know when you're the fill-in guy because i would hate to see any of you get taken advantage of and same thing could be said for girls guys do it too so keep this in mind but yeah this is a rough one that i wish didn't happen but it definitely does so again let me know down in the comments if this has ever happened to you to finish out the list here today number five is second guessing and regret which

is for a lot of different reasons but kind of ties in together a lot of the reasons i talked about on this list today one thing i've noticed is that people have become a lot less confident in the choices that they make whether it be buying something at the grocery store again there was a study done with honey at a supermarket and people who had more choices of honey were less confident in their decision and people with less choices were more confident in the decision they make because there was less choices so as silly as

that sounds the same thing can be said for relationships you know if someone has a ton of options and they choose one person they might not be as confident in their decision as someone who had way less options would be so i think that this is again perpetuating this constant indecisiveness this constant uh second guessing ourselves and the choices that we make and putting so much emphasis on if this person is the one and all this made up bullcrap that's just made to sell movies and hallmark cards but nonetheless more options tend to make people

less confident in their decisions there's the whole aspect of social media and comparison online and comparing our partners to these little parts of you know other relationships or people that we see online that we idolize or that we put up on a pedestal when we don't even see their failures or their hard days or you know the parts that aren't perfect that aren't being put online so i do think social media and this constant kind of comparison game can be detrimental to relationships and again our inability to feel confident about the decisions that we're making

for something as big as a life partner so hate to see it and for this one i would tell all of you that someone who is wishy-washy is quite frankly not the move you don't want to be with someone who is hot and cold with you who you know is obsessed with you one minute and then like doesn't know how they feel about you the next i think it's important to find someone who's consistent and of course the longer you're in a relationship throughout the duration of your relationship your relationship will go through highs and

lows and you're not always going to be at those high points things aren't always going to be sunshine and rainbows and perfect but it's important to find someone who's willing to put in the work and the effort and to be consistent with you you should want to be with someone who is sure about you and not just coming back because you were their second option if you're someone's second option or backup choice you shouldn't want to be their choice at all so again i think people you know break up with someone or in things with

someone and then all the reasons on this list combined make people second guess their choice or regret their decision or maybe they thought they were going to find someone better and they didn't i mean so many things go into this one but i think this kind of ties up everything on the list today so guys if you like this video or found it helpful be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when i release new content let me know in the comments below what you

think have any of these ever happened to you would love for you guys to share your personal stories down below and get a little conversation going if you haven't already be sure to follow me on instagram courtney christine ryan i love connecting with all of you guys on there as well i do a lot of q and a's on my story a little bit more interactive stuff so if you want to participate there be sure to give me a follow as always thank you all so much for watching and i will see you all next

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