Thoughts on Becoming a Proper Kind of Man

good morning duane here dry creek wrangler school it's uh september 4th uh the first day of classes for this fall session and so we wanted to make a video before we got too busy and make sure we keep content up we started to make one out under the tree this morning but we uh they started raining again which we are not complaining we've needed rain so bad um and uh it rained all night last night and it's raining this morning so we moved into the barn in here this morning mama says it's okay it's rustic

and so uh speaking of mama we got a we are almost to a hundred thousand subscribers we're at 91 600 something right now and at the rate that it's climbing in just a few days here by time it's time to do the next video uh we'll be at a hundred thousand so mama came up with the idea that for that video she's gonna sit with me and we'll do a video together and i'm gonna hold her to it i'm not gonna let her get out of this one she's got to do it now and uh

so in between now and then in the comments is is there anything you'd like to know is there anything in particular you'd like to ask mama uh you'd like to know mama's side of things or or anything else and and if there's much there then we'll we'll sort through it and and come up with some subjects some questions and ask them for you or answer them for you cigar this morning is a different cigar and it's kind of a unique cigar uh got the band here off the foot on my finger steel well on navy

number 1056. now i've had a couple of these before and i really like them and somebody sent me a gift they sent me a box and now these i don't know if you know who steve saka is steve saka of dunbarton he and another fella got together and developed these and they have pipe tobacco in them now these are not black and mild okay it's not it's not unusual i mean there's over the years there have been cigars that have tried to incorporate pipe tobacco uh in but they've always been a mess in my opinion

um they've always used cheaper tobaccos and and usually it's they're so sweet you can't you can't even and they're just they don't even taste like cigars that's not what this this is cigar it's it's got guard tobacco made up with cigar tobacco but they've added some high quality small amounts of uh pipe tobacco in there and so it's it tastes like a cigar like a cigar should but there's hints and notes of uh of pipe tobacco and now i'm talking about i think it there's some virginia burley um and uh some virginia's and some burley's

and and i know there's some orientals like some latakia which just gives it just a little bit of that spice like for you pipe smokers like your english tobaccos like your um peterson morning blend or something like that it's got some of that oriental just back there but it's still a cigar um i think you ought to try it uh it's pretty unique so um wanna do this video there's been a kajillion comments on the channel and uh i'm positive positive across the line and there's a lot of young people on there that are getting

on and commenting and they're just lost i just they're just lost and a lot of young men are are realizing that they've been sold a bill of goods and they haven't they haven't been prepared for life and some not so young men are waking up too and you know i've been asked a number of times what some advice you know i could give for young men and so this morning i just wanna i wanna give five things that you can start developing in your life to become a man among men to become that man uh

that you need to be and that the world around you needs you to be okay um and i'm gonna start out now this first one is going to sound so vanilla all right so tapioca so light so nothing on the surface um but it's not you need to work on being a good man now before you throw your hands up there are a lot of people out there that don't know what it means to be a good man especially i'm gonna kick over a hornet's nest here especially in the deeply religious world they don't know

what it means to be a good person listen to me the absence of evil is not an automatic indication of the presence of good all right we'll say that again the absence of evil is not an automatic indication of the presence of good you've got negative you have positive and you have neutral neutral is there's no negative but there's no positive either which means it's a big zero remember studying in school negative and positive numbers all right picture that graph you looked at on the page there's negative 5 negative 4 negative 3 negative 2 negative

1 0 1 2 3 4 5. and we say down there on the negatives duane i i don't do drugs and i don't abuse women and i don't steal from people and and i don't do this and i don't do that and so they do away with all the negatives but they don't do anything positive congratulations that person's a big zero all right being good being good is proactive it's doing something it's it's and you don't have to go and volunteer in india at an orphanage or or haul bags of rice to africa it's just

caring about people all right that poor beleaguered cashier at walmart with the tired eyes and the swollen ankles just look at him and ask her how are you doing today just somebody actually cares you know we talk about holding the door well somebody stops on the side of the road your neighbor down the road is in a difficult place and they can't get to yard mode the old lady across the street the old gentleman across the street it snows just take your shovel and go over and shovel their sidewalk just somebody at work you you

watch and you look and people at work they're going through a hard time just hey are you all right anything i do to help just in your life in your life be an agent for good it's kind of like people say i support the troops i support the troops what do you do for the troops do you send them care packages no do you walk up to them when you see them in a restaurant airport in uniform and do you stick your hand out and say thank you for your service no i don't do anything

but i support the troops no that just means you're not against the troops and going through life become a good man or woman all right now there's there's that's a lifetime right there of study okay but start start working on that second be a dangerous man now being dangerous is not being a threat there are two different things all right and it's not about going out and lifting weights and getting a bunch of tattoos and wearing leather jackets and walking around with your chest and shoulders up hulking around saying i'm dangerous that's very rarely is

that a dangerous man often the most dangerous man in the room is the quietest man in the room when we were in wyoming um last trip i was talking to the neighbor behind me he the manager of all this uh grazing land ranch land and across the road he had just he and his wife had just a few head of sheep not not very many 10 or 12. and we were talking about and he was talking about this is here and this is over here and he said now i don't i don't recommend you go

over and uh check out the sheep he had one of those he has one of those great pyrenees dogs over there he said that that dog doesn't know you and and he might he might eat you up uh protecting those sheep now sat there for a couple days and watched that dog was dangerous all right but that dog did not sit on the hillside up with his head up and his hair flowing in the wind like some kind of lion telling the whole world i'm dangerous he wasn't down at the road down there barking at

everything come by says i'm dangerous he was just with the sheep and he was not a danger to the sheep the lambs and the ewes and everything come around and going around amongst him and everything and they were perfectly 100 safe and when they were all down in there and in down in the middle of the day and kind of gathered up and resting he's not under a shade tree out there somewhere he's resting too he's not telling everybody how dangerous he is in fact from a distance if you look down there he looked like

the sheep about same size big old white wooly you couldn't tell him from the sheep but you go down there and he thinks you're trying to harm one of the sheep uh it's a different story he's dangerous listen this you you cannot if we tie this into the the earlier point be a good man you can't be a good man a fully good man if you're not a dangerous man all right to be good is to do good to people and sometimes doing good to people is protecting those people it's protecting those people protecting those

around us all right i'm a these days i'm i'm a laid-back mellow middle-aged fella and and i kind of talk slow and easy and i move slow and easy all right but you say one one disrespectful thing to my wife and my presence or i get a phone call from one of my daughters crying i am not only willing but i am able to inflict great bodily damage and i will do so i'm not a danger to those around me i'm not a danger to the sheep but you need to be a dangerous man look

up there's a guy on the internet and he's on youtube and he discusses this he's much smarter than i am he discusses this much better jordan peterson um and he talks about this a whole lot more eloquently than i can all right uh but you need to first off you need to get it a mindset look i'm not a sheep i'm taking care of those it's a willingness and a mindset and then you work on the physical side of it all right start losing some weight start going to the gym start learning some things and

fellas if you are not willing and able to some degree to protect the family that you have started you don't have a right to have a family that's that's my opinion that's doing ism okay you don't have a right to have that family so study these are things i'm just giving you to start and you you research okay be dangerous third be educated listen you want to know how to be a man among men you start following and reading and listening to guys like jocko willett jordan peterson these guys and start learning and start learning

start reading and just the brain is a muscle and like any muscle the more you work it the stronger it becomes i've talked about reading on here before it's hard my mama laughs at me all the time i cannot multitask i get to talk and i completely forget about my cigar i only do one thing at a time all right become educated all right and i don't mean going to college i'm not knocking college all right um but become educated learn to do things learn what's going on around you but go through life learning learning

learn something new okay uh become educated and become educated and better with your with your vehicles uh educated of course in our line of work what we're doing educated with horses you're always learning uh you're always growing you're always reading we've got two young men here um apprentices we've got here and one of these young men he's always reading he's always um duane do you know do you recommend a book on this do you know of a book on this and he asked me the other day and i said well there's i recommend this book

here by this fella he says i already have that one and i have the the sequel that he wrote to it after that and these weren't novels um and but he's just always learning always growing all right just just become educated um thirdly be calm be calm all right now mama's greeting behind the behind the phone um a lot of people talk on the channel about how calm and level i am look this is not the me that used to be and it's we we looking at these comments and talking about how lucky your children

were to be raised by you my children were not raised by the me that is today it's a journey all right i was a hot-headed scratchy old fella i just didn't know any better all right had a lot of stuff outside of family in my life that was causing tremendous amounts of stress and i was bringing it home and i was not calm you need to just be calm just be calm dwayne how do i be calm get rid of the things that don't let you be calm all right if you come in and you

watch the news every night and just agitate you turn the dang news off they're lying to you anyhow it's inevitable nothing you can do about it turn it off you got people in your life that are just people of constant conflict people of melodrama just people that are always stirring the pot they're not happy unless the pot is stirred just walk away i have friends friends old friends family i just walked away and i guard my calmness we have a deal here we have sunday night everybody comes in and so we lay out the rules

rule number one rule number one every class do not disturb dwayne's calm all right just calm find things that will make you calm cigar okay calm music listen if you got a stressful job that you don't like that you're not proud of doing and you are slamming mountain dews and dr peppers and sweet teas or whatever jacked up on sugar jacked i used to drink i used to drink a six pack of dr pepper and two big tall glasses of sweet tea every day and then go to heavy heavy um stress construction jobs and stuff

and along the other things in my life i stayed jacked up i stayed just quit cut that stuff down cut it out all right and if you do that and then you've got cranking driving music on your radio to work that stuff just gets your heart rate going and gets you going so you wake up over morning you got a job you hate you don't like you don't want to go to um you slam some sugar breakfast down you grab you a mountain dew or a coke or dr pepper on the way to work and

then you crank up some hard driving music and you come screeching and roaring into your job and you get out and go in and and it's it's machines and everything else going and people are not happy and people don't want to be there and what not goodness gracious it's no wonder you're about to blow a gasket make some major changes in your life change that music you say you listen to [Music] country music well there's a lot of country music these days that to me is not very country but instead of listening to you know

brantley gilbert learn to appreciate some emmy lou harris okay find beauty and calm and kind of tone down on the drums and the screaming guitars a little bit cut down on the sugar and the caffeine and there's people in your life that just just draw away just draw away you need to be calm and then when an inevitable conflict comes up and it will because this is life go into it calm go into your conflict calm because if you're calm you're thinking you're logical you're level-headed when you get mad all logic and reason goes out

the window okay so be calm learn to read books that are just put you in a a um a perspective state of mind all right so be calm and lastly be wise now wisdom it's a lifetime of study wisdom is and wisdom is not what you know wisdom is knowing how to apply what you know you know the saying is wisdom is knowing that tomato is officially classified as a fruit that's knowledge knowledge is knowing that wisdom is officially let me try again knowledge is knowing that a tomato is classified as a fruit wisdom is

knowing not to put it in a fruit salad you don't have to open your mouth and dump out everything that's going on in your brain you don't have to tell people everything you know you know there's two sides of that calm thing there's the people who stir things up around you but there's times we go around we we tell tales and we agitate hey i heard this i heard this did you hear this and they're stirring stuff up be that quiet man be that quiet man in the corner all right you got something to say

that's good beneficial helpful or properly corrective at the proper mind proper time then say it otherwise be wise all right talking all the time about everything to everybody that's not an indication of the wise all right so now these are just these are just some some things just to think about and to help and it's a journey it's a journey all right you start where you are today and you say i wish i was that man right there but i'm not and i don't mean that particular person i mean that kind of man i wish

that is the kind of man that i was well it might be a long journey to get to that man but start work at it all the time make sacrifices and the other thing is you've heard the saying fake it till you make it you see that man right there and you want to be that man right there pretend to be that man right there listen to me pretend to be that man right there inside you say you know i'm not really that man i'm gonna act calm i'm gonna pretend like i'm that calm man

but i don't feel like i am that calm man but i'm gonna act calm and i'm gonna pretend to be calm then are you not calm do you not become calm through that process all right act like but see and picture listen if you don't have a destination how do you know when you've arrived and how do you know how to get there if you don't know where you're going sit down and figure out what kind of man do i want to be and then begin the journey but just this country and the people around

you need good men good effective men we have enough neutrals we have enough people running around out there that i let's be completely honest let's let's be completely honest if you were to leave this world tomorrow would you leave a hole if you were to leave this world tomorrow would you leave a hole become the man that leaves a big hole when you leave this world all right hope it helps and i'm gonna stop right there and we'll catch you guys next time