Wife Regrets Wanting An Open Relationship To Justify Her Cheating

what's up everybody today we've got an awesome story about a wife that wanted an open relationship but now regrets it hello all never once did i think i would get to this point to the point of reaching out to strangers on the internet for guidance but here we are my wife and i have been together for 10 years but married for eight we met in college and were each other's first and only i honestly thought we had a unique and beautiful relationship because of that but it appears that was just me some time ago my

wife began working at a new company at first she found it difficult to fit in because she's always been reserved but after encouragement from me she made friends with a group of girls some of whom were single divorced or dating but not married at first i was happy she made friends but then she started going out for drinks partying or some other thing her friends had planned i became concerned by her change in behavior and tried to talk to her about it but at the same time didn't want to restrict her in any way it

started to affect her relationship in the bedroom my wife wasn't one to initiate intimacy but with her continued going out she was either too tired or wasn't in the mood at some point her company got a new manager whom my wife and her friends had taken a shining to she began mentioning him in passing but he got to a point where she was pointing out how he handled certain problems that didn't seem to be work-related i questioned her on her fascination with this man and she brushed off my concerns she even started asking if i

regretted not having more experience with women to which i said no because she is all i ever needed i swore i thought for a moment i saw a flash of sadness in her eyes but she quickly changed the subject she started mentioning open marriages as a way to spice up our marriage i was taken aback because my wife has never this kind of person and not that liberal sexually to be honest i had first refused and questioned if this had anything to do with the new manager to which she denied but said she felt like

she missed out but at the same time didn't want to lose me so this was a safer option i wonder that she was playing with fire then reluctantly and naively agreed so we set some rules mainly not to sleep with another person in our home so for a year and my wife goes on dates has one night stands then as if i didn't see it coming somehow is in some kind of relationship with that manager i on the other hand had a few dates but no one night stands because it frequently felt wrong to me

my wife would ask if i was fine but really wouldn't change her behavior at some point i felt the love i had for her that pure special innocence of marriage was gone and it was killing me inside i ended up going on a date with an amazing woman who migrated over from south korea conversation was effortless she had the wit of a lightning-fast whipcrack and a smile that would make one forget himself this of course led to more dates until we were intimate i honestly never had sex like i had with this woman i never

knew a woman could be so giving and make one feel so desirable at first my wife thought it was cute but as the months went by she began questioning my relationship with my lover i promptly pointed out that this was her idea and even that she was in a relationship with the manager i was concerned about she was silent she looked like she wanted to say something but held her tongue she began coming home early to surprise me with dinner and get the house extra clean she also started coming to my workplace to drop off

lunch and began to initiate intimacy in the bedroom honestly if it wasn't for her opening up our marriage which i am also to blame for agreeing all this would have had me jumping for joy i barely gave into her attempts at intimacy and when i did it was simply to get it over with something in me towards my wife died and i could see she felt it too i asked what brought on this change in her what was different the response i got was that she wants to show me that she loves me and is

happy with me i never intended to but i burst out laughing i asked what about her little group of friends her manager lover or her one night stands she didn't respond that day and simply went to bed in tears the next day i get home to find her waiting for me she told me she wants to close our marriage this whole experience was a horrible mistake that regrets everything and wants us to be the focus of our relationship again i told her to be honest with me and tell me what inspired all this in the

first place and wouldn't you know it it was her group of friends that planted the idea because of their numerous sexual exploits and when her manager came around he surprisingly supported that lifestyle and encouraged my wife to live free apparently it developed into an emotional affair but only got physical once the marriage opened wow like that makes it better she described it as being drunk behind the wheel of a speeding car it was thrilling intoxicating but the price of the decision has become too much for her to bear she sees now that she never needed

a comparison and that what we had was truly unique and special but now she feels like she murdered our marriage and any chance of a life together i told her i might not ever be able to see her as my wife again and this made her break down in front of me i simply held her in silence as she cried until she fell asleep in my arms on the couch she has since left her job and cut off contact with all her friends and her manager and even told me she's willing to spend the rest

of her life making it up to me and work her fingers to the bone to be seen as a wife by me but i haven't cut contact with my lover my lover quite frankly makes me feel like a man like i can challenge the world and my wife hasn't in a while truth is i don't know what to do in this situation i would love to get the special feeling back if possible my lover basically saved me when i was at my lowest please help me forgot to add we have our first marriage counseling session

in a couple of hours not sure how that will go the therapist seemed nice and experienced she appeared unbiased and actually eager to help even though it was our very first session my wife took it as an opportunity to lay it all out it seems she confessed that this group of friends made her wonder if she had missed her chance because she was committed to her first boyfriend and had no other experiences that she never had the same adventures some of these supposedly amazing women had remember some of whom are divorced but none are married

the therapist pointed out that this can be and often is detrimental to a marriage due to the difference in mindset my wife seemed to agree then added that after the new manager started approaching her some of these friends encouraged her to see where it goes that this was a chance for her to explore or discover herself she obviously felt guilty so she says so she never did anything physical until one of the divorce ones suggested an open marriage as the loophole and told her that some couples come out stronger because of it so after regrettably

again so she says convincing me to open up the marriage her so-called adventure began it was intoxicating and blinding but lacked real substance not like the kind we built over the years and she started to question her reasons for doing this she said she could see the hurt in my eyes but told herself this was an adventure she said she'll never forgive herself for this her chance to have an amazing experience so the gravity of it all never really hit her until she noticed a change in me at first she assumed because i went on

dates i would gradually accept her situation and be okay with it but that all changed when my lover became a constant appearance in my adventure apparently i started to smile again for no reason how my eyes would light up when i would get a text message or when i cheerfully left the room to answer a call she said she suddenly felt a pit in her stomach and started to get many panic attacks for no reason she went to her friends for advice again but they said it was a normal reaction for me to have during

the adventure but when the same divorced one who suggested this in the first place said it looks like his lover makes him happy is when the reality of it all finally dawned on her and the very real possibility that another woman and not his wife gave him joy almost made her pass out she realized how ridiculous this all was and begged them to help her win me back but they just told her if she couldn't deal with it why did she open her marriage in the first place she knew then and there that these people

were toxic and a threat to our marriage and the life we've built hence she's been on a mission to win me back by any means necessary i on the other hand didn't share much but i did let the counselor know about the situation on my side with my lover still in the picture to which the counselor said no resolution could ever be reached with my lover still in the picture and suggested we book another appointment after tomorrow the counselor said it was unusual for someone to stay with her first this long and gave the impression

that any storm can be weathered i highly suspect she wants us to be one of her success stories sorry that it's long but i figured i might as well give a full update update two still haven't figured out how to link posts and a very warm thank you to everyone who has reached out i apologize for not being able to reply to each and every one of you be it inbox or on the post anyway here's the update so far again thank you for all your support it's quite literally been an episode of jerry springer

i have since moved into an apartment owned by my brother for a ridiculously cheap price he owns properties and would have let me stay for free but i refused that just a little of what i have uncovered about my wife's behaviors and some unsettling things about her manager during our second session of counseling i asked some of the questions that some redditors asked 1. if she was sure nothing physical happened before the open of the marriage she looks towards the ground and begged me not to make her say it she said if she said it

then it would destroy us but after some pushing she shared that it wasn't physical but they touched themselves in front of each other this douche bag convinced her that since it wasn't physical sort of it wasn't technically cheating and that they were simply enjoying each other's full beauty i was absolutely floored by this and she started shaking and hyperventilating snot even began flowing from her nostrils as she cried and apologized to me at this point even the counselor was taken aback and had a look of disbelief my wife got on her knees and hugged my

legs saying how sorry she was 2. i then asked her what really changed her view of him she said after she started pulling back from the group as a whole his behavior towards her changed then one evening as she was leaving a meeting she passed his office and heard him speaking about her to another male colleague he said he was surprised at how easy it was to get her and how she is living proof that you can't trust the quiet ones when the colleague asked if he actually fancied her his response was that she was

a pleasant distraction and that he had absolutely no intention of breaking up with his fiance he even added that this was simply to get it out of his system because the only woman who has ever understood him was his fiancee and he didn't want to break up with her he also mentioned how he felt bad for me but you snooze you lose my wife upon realizing that she was nothing more than a piece of meat to this man added by the fact that she betrayed me for a cheap thrill actually made her suicidal in that

moment she said she left her workplace and vomited in the parking lot she also added that her first thoughts were what have i done and my name please forgive me i'm so sorry 3. i then asked her if she loved him and when it was that she stopped loving me she looked me dead in the eye through tears and said she never stopped loving me which honestly makes it worse and that he was just something different she thought it was love but now realizes how foolish she was she squeezed my arm with surprising strength and

said she knows she messed up but she misses us and the connection we had before all this she even suggested we move away and start fresh just the two of us just as it was meant to be i then told her it wouldn't be fair to my lover and that i need time away from her to process all this it was like she had a meltdown at those words she started sobbing harder and saying incoherent things she held on to me as if i was going to disappear took some time for both me and the

counselor to calm her down the counselor managed to convince her that maybe time apart could help us heal now i wish i could end the update with just this but as we got home i began to pack my wife got a video call from her laptop it was one of her former friends in tears it turns out that after my wife resigned this friend and the manager began a fling of their own but apparently she had a pregnancy scare which caused him to basically turn into dr jekyll to make matters worse she had a boyfriend

whom she apparently could see a future with him and the only reason why she even had a fling was because she was curious to the experience funny how that seems to be a trend her boyfriend found out because he discovered an email between the two discussing the potential pregnancy but the manager basically accused her of baby trapping him of course he left her and the reason why she made contact is because she was under the impression that my wife managed to save our marriage and was desperately seeking advice i just turned and left and have

been staying in the apartment ever since update three my wife's insane behavior and how it changed us some things have happened so far and my decision moving forward first and foremost thank you to everyone who took the time to reach out and share either helpful advice your own similar life story or just offered an ear for me to rant it truly means a lot well quite a bit has happened the former friend who had the pregnancy scare was indeed pregnant but the stress of losing her boyfriend and being humiliated by the affair caused her to

lose the baby she basically turned ballistic when full scorched earth on the manager she exposed him to all upper management and his fiancee i happened to find his fiance on facebook was curious and this woman is basically the poster child of pretty small town girl based on her profile she's a special needs teacher who is a homebody and is very family oriented my first thought was what the hell is he doing messing around with other women when he's got her at home honestly why men like him end up with women like her is one of

the greatest mysteries of life the former friend actually got in contact with me she wanted my side of the version of events because she was collecting evidence against him but she wanted to do it in person she already had her kova test and so did i and i agreed from the moment i saw her face i knew she was broken the dark circles under her eyes and her red colored iris clearly showed she didn't get any sleep and was haunted by her own thoughts she thanked me for agreeing to meet her and immediately apologize for

her role in my wife's adventure turns out her and my wife spoke again and that's when she learned i had moved out she didn't shift blame and wanted to take responsibility hence why she wanted to meet in person i thanked her for her efforts but asked her why she would go this far she said losing both a child and the love of her life changed who she was at the core she said she can hardly look in the mirror without feeling disgust and she can hardly sleep because all she sees is her ex's face the

day he found out this woman clearly hated herself and the meeting might have been a form of punishment for her she tells me since fracturizing among coworkers as a breach of conduct and more so because he was in a position of influence he will most likely be fired and possibly blacklisted from that field as a whole but the same may be true for her as well and she accepted it she left after getting my side of the story and apologized again i needed to get a few things from the old place so i picked a

time when i thought my wife wouldn't be home unfortunately she was there but what surprised me is that she had most of our wedding photos out on the coffee table as well as others and she was staring at them when she noticed me i could see she was crying she tried to hug me but i gently pushed her aside she tried to offer me lunch but i told her i wasn't hungry that i wouldn't be long just needed a few things before i could proceed she said she had something to show me she pulled out

her phone and showed me a message she received two days ago from her former manager who berated her it was from a new number since she blocked his old one apparently my wife helped her former friend expose him to all relevant parties and he was fuming she said she got the idea from chump lady and marriage builders she thought by exposing the secret she was moving its power as well as giving us a fighting chance i told her i was glad that she had the courage to do that but it doesn't change anything between us

i also informed her that i will be stopping marriage counseling but will do individual counseling instead this made her sob softly and she said she understood i know i'm supposed to feel either elation of the actions taken or rage because it took this long but i feel numb towards her this isn't normal hence why i want to address it in an individual counseling and not marriage counseling i have also seen a divorce lawyer at my brother's recommendation just to be safe as of now i'm not really willing to fight for this marriage and it seems

my wife can sense it before i left she tried to initiate intimacy but when i refused she yelled and asked what does my lover do for me that she can't what does she love her give that she wife can't she and her voice so loud i'm sure the neighbors heard it said that whatever it was i wanted she wife would do it i shook my head and told her if she still couldn't tell after all that's happened then it's clear where our marriage is headed and left to hang op your wife has really started to

see the consequences for her actions the sad truth is that she would do anything to go back and not make the same bad choices but things don't work that way maybe she can put some effort into figuring herself out and become a better partner but it probably won't be with you because she already burned this life down the one thing you can be sure of is that she will always remember you and regret what she did that's more than what many of us got from our waywards good luck to you you